Thought Catalog
May 6, 2014

8 Things An Introvert Will Always Do If They Really, Really Like You

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What is the issue?

1. Make an effort to do social things.

If an introvert is agreeing to go out and do lots of social stuff multiple times a week — especially if they’re doing it because there is a chance that they’re going to run into you — that definitely means they’re into you. Going out to big events on the off chance of seeing your crush, for an introvert, is like walking over a bed of hot coals to get to a cash prize.

2. Let you into their quiet space.

Rainy Sunday mornings are the introvert’s territory. Everyone is inside, curled up, with a cup of tea and a good book and/or their laptop open. And normally, the most amazing part of that for them is the fact that they get to do it totally, completely alone. But if they let you into this space, and you can sit across from them in lovely silence while the two of you work on your respective projects, you know that things are getting really serious.

3. Show you their music.

Looking into their music library is like looking into their soul, and yes, it’s corny, but that’s only because it’s true. It’s often hard for them to express what they want to say, so when they send you a mix tape with all of the songs that contain the right lyrics, it’s important to listen to them. Just because they can’t look across their dinner at a fancy restaurant and say how much they care about you doesn’t mean that Bon Iver or whatever can’t do it for them.

4. Reveal an online secret.

No matter what they do in life, no matter their job or student status, every introvert is guaranteed to have at least one dedicated online activity. Maybe they comment a ton on a music site, maybe they have a blog, maybe they are an active player in an MMO. In any case, they definitely have some kind of online life/alter ego, and if they show it to you and let you poke around their sacred online space, that means they trust you more than nearly anyone else in their day-to-day life. Seeing the side Tumblr of an introvert is basically like seeing them naked.

5. Get to know your friends (little by little).

Be patient with them — getting to know your friends is hard. But if they are making the effort, and following up with them, and being markedly more social when it has to do with your friends, it’s the best way they can show they really like you. Seeing how much an introvert “turns it on” when they are around the people you care about is a huge indicator of how much they want to impress you, because every time they act really social, it demands a huge amount of energy from them.

6. Make an effort to actually call you on the phone.

There is nothing more stressful, when it comes to introvert interaction, than the full-on phone call. Texts and emails are so easy — they don’t demand immediate response, and the answers can be rehearsed a few times before being sent. So if you know that you are dating an introvert, and they actually call you back when you send a text like “Hey, can you give me a call when you get a chance?” or pick up when you call them, you know that things are serious.

7 Give you really good body language.

Maybe the two of you aren’t saying anything, but they’re looking at your lips. They’re turning their knees in towards yours. They’re touching your arm when they laugh. Introverts give the best body language.

8. Pay attention to detail.

The most important sign that they’re into you, more important even than body language, is how much detail they are putting into their interactions with you. Again, it’s not going to be the most bold gesture or confession of love, but it’s going to be sweet and tailored to you. I once got a boyfriend a mug to go with mine for Sunday tea a few weeks into our dating, and it was my way of saying, “I love spending time with you, and I want you to be there during my private moments.” Remembering dates, times, and what you like are the best way they have to show you that they care without turning to dramatic romance. And it may seem little to you, but it’s enormous to them, so it’s important to take notice when it happens. TC mark

Read more insight and advice in our bestselling ebook here.

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image – Danielle Moler

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