Thought Catalog
January 20, 2014

23 Acts Of Chivalry That Men Need To Bring Back

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What is the issue?

1. Holding open the door for people, especially when they are carrying heavy things or are not as physically fit as you are (injured, pregnant, elderly, etc).

2. Sharing your umbrella, even if that means you get wet for a few seconds.

3. Getting to know her parents and actually taking the time to earn their trust and approval. (Some people think that asking them for permission before proposing is outdated, but I still believe in it. Even if you don’t do that, though, establishing a level of understanding with them is the least you can do.)

4. Giving your coat to a woman when she’s cold, draping it over her shoulders and making sure she’s warm for the walk home.

5. Walking women to the door after a date, and not expecting that she’s going to sleep with you just because you came within 10 feet of her front door.

6. Complimenting (in a sincere and not-creepy way) and being nice to her friends. A simple “Your new haircut looks nice” or “Congratulations on your new job, my girlfriend told me the good news” demonstrates the kind of attention and kindness that few men show. It’s one thing to be good to your girlfriend, it’s a whole new level to be nice to her friends.

7. Embracing style and a personal fashion sense, and not immediately dismissing any man who enjoys those things as “gay.”

8. Leaving little notes around for her to find, with simple messages about where you went or simply that you’re thinking of her.

9. When the waiter comes, asking her what she’d like and letting her order first.

10. Sending a little message to make sure we got home alright, and actually meaning it.

11. Keeping the text messages, pictures, emails, and any other exchanges that happen between you just that — between the two of you. (No bragging to friends.)

12. Bringing her coffee or tea in the morning (occasionally in bed). It doesn’t have to be a regular thing, but especially if she is often the one taking care of all things food-and-drink related, it’s a small gesture that shows a lot of kindness.

13. Bringing over flowers, just because you love her. No need to wait for a special occasion.

14. Sending something every now and again to her office. The value of a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates received while in the middle of the work day, in front of all her coworkers, is something you can’t put a price on.

15. Standing up for her if she’s being spoken to aggressively, especially by another man. If you are walking down the street and she starts getting harassed, not saying anything is the worst thing you can do.

16. Calling when you say you are going to call.

17. Being kind and respectful to wait staff when dining out together, and never treating them like they are there to be your servants. Even if you’re comfortable with it, it reflects poorly on the person you’re out with (and it makes you a bad person).

18. Taking off your hat when you enter a room, always.

19. Asking women to dance (which, of course, includes learning to dance in the first place). This year, “I don’t dance” should no longer be an excuse for anything.

20. Remembering special days.

21. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk, especially if it’s rainy and there runs a risk of having a passing car splash you both with gross road water.

22. Telling her you love her with no expectations, and just because it’s true. (Waiting for her to say it every time is just lame.)

23. Not looking at these things in terms of “old fashioned” or “outdated,” but realizing that making your partner feel good is something timeless. These little things don’t need to change just because we’re in the 21st century, because, let’s face it — there are some things that our grandparents just did better than us. TC mark

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