22 Signs You Are Not Ready To Get Married
1. At the end of the fairy tale, when the Princess rides off into the sunset to marry the handsome Prince, you’re just like, “Really?? That’s IT??! I wanna see more of her actual story!”
2. All of your friends are getting engaged or into serious relationships, and every single time a new one announces their good news, you kind of feel like they died a little bit.
3. You have a huge list of things you want to do in the next few years, and not a single one has to do with being in a relationship.
4. You’ve broken up with people who were perfectly nice, simply because you knew that you were wasting both of your time by being together when you didn’t want it to go anywhere.
5. There is a little switch in your ear that you turn to “mute” when your parents/family members start going off at you again about how you should be meeting someone nice.
6. The thing is, you have met someone nice. You’ve met dozens of nice people, and they’re called your friends.
7. You say that you are married to your career, and that is only somewhat a joke. It’s mostly pretty true, when you think about it.
8. People ask you how you’re going to have children if you don’t get married soon, and all you can do is laugh uncontrollably in their faces.
9. Every time you see a new romantic comedy that’s all centered on an otherwise-interesting person dedicating their whole lives to finding love, you want to throw yourself off a bridge just a little bit.
10. You love eating alone, and some of your best memories include finishing several chapters while holed up at the little corner table of your favorite restaurant.
11. People think that you’ve been hurt really badly and that’s why you’re “afraid” of getting married, and you don’t even have the energy to correct them about it anymore.
12. The entire idea of weddings and gowns and receptions and cakes just seems kind of weird to you. Well, maybe not the cake. The cake and free alcohol can stay, but you don’t see why you have to get married to get all of that.
13. The thought of being attached to a single person for the rest of your natural life makes you feel like you’re wearing an itchy wool turtleneck on a summer day.
14. Every time you attend someone’s wedding, you find the little group of cool people who hate this kind of bullshit, and spend the whole time getting drunk with them and making fun of people.
15. You genuinely don’t understand why people regard your whole life as incomplete if you’re not headed somewhere serious with a partner.
16. You can name a million things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with your relationship status, and wish that everyone else was capable of doing the same thing.
17. You wish that there was a kind of website for people who are just genuinely looking to meet other, awesome humans that don’t fall into the “long-term partner” category or “one night stand” category — like OkCupid for friends who maybe occasionally have sex with each other?
18. The people you think you are just “casually seeing” are always kept at enough of an arm’s length that they don’t get any weird ideas about where this is going.
19. There are many times where you’ve thought to yourself that marriage as an institution is just kind of bullshit to begin with.
20. If you did want to get married, you know that you are not yet the person who should be doing that. You have to go through at least a dozen more life changes/improvements before you could consider yourself ready for that kind of thing.
21. You kind of suspect that a huge number of the people getting married around you are going to be getting divorced not too far in the future.
22. Several of them already have, and you’re trying your best not to feel “I told you so” about the whole thing. Because that would be rude.
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Shouldn’t a national leader’s sexual desirability be an issue, especially if it’s a chick?
8. Take advantage of the different types of living situations
24. Hair loss due to high levels anxiety.
Before you make the possibly life-altering decision to go and have a meal at Waffle House, I believe it is my duty as a reporter to inform you of what could happen.