The sense of not belonging anywhere forced me to become an independent person. I am not afraid to explore the world and live abroad because there was never a real home for me.
I live a relatively happy adult life because I am not attached to my childhood memories. There isn’t a second that I yearn to go back to in my lonely childhood. I love my adult life because I can make decisions on my own, although it comes with tremendous responsibility.
I learned resilience. And I know that no matter how bad a situation gets, I will be just fine. All of the setbacks during my early years have proved that.
I am a serious person who is aware of my own emotions and thoughts. Tough situations taught me to keep those things under control and to be strategic.
I don’t trust people easily, despite how outgoing I might seem. I don’t expect much from the people around me. I accept that I am always on my own and that I am responsible for my own well-being, which is a far more healthy way of thinking than relying on the others for your own happiness.
I like to be alone. And it is amidst the silence that I have gotten to be super creative. I write and paint and practice music. I read a lot. I think. I plot new stories for my novel. I honed my skills and became talented. I feel the most comfortable expressing myself with my work.
I have become good at reading people because my situation has forced me to become aware of my own surroundings. I second-guess and am skeptical about people’s motive in my everyday life. I am also more guarded than most people. This prevents me from being involved in nonsensical mind games. And if someone is playing such a game on me, I will be able to notice it right away. And I will actually come up with a solution to get out of the situation.
I have become a friendly, charismatic person since I have learned to speak the language of other people. My childhood desire to fit in and to avoid conflict forced me to become good at adapting my speech to my conversation partner.
I am motivated to become a better person every single day. My childhood pain somehow convinced me to aim for a successful life, to be accepted, to prove that I was right. It’s a positive form of self-healing.
Being bullied taught me to be a compassionate person. Since I know how painful life can be, I am willing to stand up for those who are in need. I can’t tolerate injustice. And wouldn’t let it happen in my presence.
At the same time, I also try to understand the bully and learn to forgive. This doesn’t mean that their behavior is acceptable, but responding with violence would not do any good either.
In the end, bullies are humans too. And no human should be intentionally hurt by others.
After all of these experiences, I still believe that, deep down, we all want to do the right things. We all want to be a good person. For some of us, it just takes a little longer to learn.
However, this doesn’t mean that everybody should go through such a mess in their adolescent years to become a stronger person. It’s unnecessary.
And just because you are bullied, it doesn’t mean your life is a wreck. Sometimes, the most beautiful sculptures are the ones that have been meticulously carved.
If you were bullied during your childhood and are still in the healing process, please know that my heart is always with you. Believe in yourself. Time heals.