In the crazy fast world we live in, there is an overwhelming sense of urgency that pervades every aspect of our lives. From landing the perfect job to slaying it at the club, our society is all about who does it best. The pressure to have it all is killer! The ‘more is more’ mentality is at an all time high, driving us into a stress chamber, all in the name of doing it big.
Up until a short time ago, I desperately sought out the approval of the external world, thereby waiting for the world to love me before I could love myself. As much as I told myself that happiness is an inside job or that I could care less about the rat race, I oftentimes overlooked this advice and got lost in the competition. I was always unsatisfied with whatever it was that I had. It was never enough. I would hop from one job to the next and force myself into situations that weren’t suitable for my temperament or interests.
Why you might ask? It all boiled down to being seen as worthy by societal standards and had nothing to do with my own inner flame. I ignored my own desires, wants, and true gifts because they didn’t appear cool, relevant, or bold enough. And this led me into a black hole I couldn’t find a way out of. The longer I ignored my intuition and acted in ways that didn’t serve my best interest, the worse off I felt. I would get myself into mismatched jobs or make friends with the mean girls, all because I thought I had to. Talk about sheer madness!
My singledom also hit a huge blow for most of my life, as I used self-comparison as a way of sabotaging my chances of embracing the single life. I hated being single and up until recently, thought that life was meant to suck until Prince Charming came knocking on my door.
And don’t get me started on the way social media messed with my head, essentially dumbing me down as I fell prey to the need to look outside of myself for the answers. The more I bought into this way of being, the more dissatisfied I became with my own life. Let me fill you all in with a dirty little secret, shall I? I am sure you all know the answer yourselves, but I will remind you anyways. Drumroll please. The secret is that there is no need to be part of the competition. In fact, it is all one big illusion and it is up to each one of us to pave a unique path for ourselves.
Who deems what it means to ‘make it’? Honestly, the answer is individual, but we oftentimes disregard this very fact when we are too busy trying to do it all. The fear of missing out rules our psyche and we spend our precious moments wondering about what we don’t have or what some random ‘relationship goals’ caption on Instagram deems as the precursor to a happy relationship. These are minutes of our sacred lives that we are spending in a state of comparison mode, basically throwing away countless moments that could be spent loving, living, and laughing to our fullest extents.
When we assume that we aren’t enough just as we are, that is one slippery slope that may never end. Chances are that our efforts to obtain what we believe is a necessary ingredient in the recipe of success will fall short. You simply cannot win, no matter what you do, because there will always be something that is missing. See what I mean? This philosophy will suck you dry before you know it.
I say we let go of the chains and free ourselves of this limited lens on fulfillment. We don’t have to be so hard on ourselves to have it all figured out in love, career development, or anything else for that matter.
How about we stop giving a fuck for once? The human experience is full of trials and tribulations no matter what we do, but we can maximize our happiness by letting go of our obsession with all things external. When we set conditions on joy or success, life becomes arduous rather than playful. We live one life, so why not do what makes our hearts soar and our souls rise? Let’s let go of our rigid attachments to do everything and be everywhere and instead live lives that are in synchrony with our essential natures. The world needs us in our pure, unadulterated forms and not as frauds. Life can metamorphosize into sheer bliss once we start celebrating ourselves. What are we waiting for?