November 25, 2016

My Completely Honest And Refreshing Letter To Self Everyone Needs To Read

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What is the issue?
Cathryn Lavery
Cathryn Lavery

Well hey there!

It’s been a while since we last spoke. I know, I know. You’re too busy struggling to constantly explain yourself to people who don’t listen or roll their eyes at you; you’ve forgotten all about that one person who listens and loves you all the same – your own self. But that’s perfectly fine. We all forget sometimes. Easy mistake. To err is human, after all.

So. How are you? Put on a bit, haven’t you? No no, it’s fine! Apparently it’s all about the bass lately. Heh heh. Jokes aside: how are you? Work’s an absolute drag, college is a constant headache, some jealous little a-hole is dampening your day?

Ah. Wonderful. No, really, it is quite wonderful. I’m glad you’re opening up to yourself; admitting that everything isn’t perfect as you’d like it to be. Embracing the truth is important.

Asides from all that, might I just point out that that wasn’t the correct answer for the question I asked. I said, “How are YOU?” I wasn’t referring to deadlines at work, homework at college or insecure pricks. I was referring to you. How are you? Bad? Ah, but why? Uninspired? Dull thud in your head? People are annoying? The system is rigged? Nothing seems to go your way? Too much stress? Let downs? Constant problems you can’t seem to solve? Insomnia? Heart break? Sick of this year?

Ah, I see. Well it’s easy to blame something or someone for your problems…

Woah woah woah, hold on! What do you mean I don’t understand? I do! I’m you. I understand you 150%, I promise.

Now, calm down. Nothing to cry over; save those tears for an emotional tribute to Obama video.

Yes, I still make terrible jokes when I’m nervous.

Don’t be upset – you have no reason to be.

I wish you’d talk to me more often though. You’ve forgotten how to trust your gut instinct, you’ve forgotten how to trust your feelings, you’ve forgotten to trust your strengths. You’re too busy talking or texting or tapping a screen, scrolling down to find words that console you someway and somehow; you no longer look into yourself to trust what’s best for you. You’re so afraid of what people will say or think. You’ve seen the way everyone so easily mocks each other with never a kind word to share. You’ve heard the gossip, the rumours, the vicious lies that spread from mouth to mouth and you just don’t want to be a part of that mess. So you stay quiet, humbled and frightened; forgetting everything you’re capable of out of fear of rejection and failure. You need to trust in what you feel. Ah. You tried that once? And failed? Well have you thought of trying again? It’s like connecting to bad WiFi – it never works the first time but you keep trying anyway.

Look. This isn’t motivational bullshit. I’m being serious. What made you forget about what makes you who you are? Why are you slowly drawing away from individuality and fitting into a mould where everyone screams ‘I’m different! I’m unique!’ when you’re all the same bodies, crushing together in a dark and dismal mosh pit.

Whatever happened to those ideas in your head? Whatever happened to your goals? Your ability to make things happen? Let me tell you why. You got tired.

You gave up. You saw everyone else crash and burn and you were scared.

You only had one person who believed in you and you never realized that that was all you needed in the end.

Look, it’s fine. We all have bad days. But trust yourself more often, please? I’m not all that bad and yes, I do have days when I’m tired and angry and confused and hurt and just plain fed up of everything.

You’ve brought yourself this far and if that’s not astounding then I don’t know what is. You really don’t need everything around you to help you up; scenes change, moments don’t last and the only change you can control is yourself. Ain’t that amazing though?

The one thing you have control over is you!

Trust in yourself, buddy.

You got it in you, really you do.

Hugs,
Me. TC mark

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