20 Of The Funniest Jokes You’ll Read All Day

you knew the backstreet boys were actually friends because when the one boy asks if hes "sexual" the rest of the boys all agree that he is

— keith buckley (@deathoftheparty) March 31, 2014

yes hello 911, i just accidentally liked my ex's vacation pic from 2004

— chuuch (@ch000ch) July 7, 2014

Texting wasn't always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You better click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.

— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) May 28, 2014

https://twitter.com/ConorTripler/status/433675976296632320

I’d rather be in a human centipede than a group text.

— colonel rob fee (@robfee) October 7, 2013

Damn, Starbucks. Not only do you spell my name completely wrong AND screw up my order, but on my way out some woman keeps calling me a thief

— Marlon Rebrando (@contriteperson) January 19, 2014

https://twitter.com/Lindzeta/status/213461456094629889

FUN PRANK: Leave a falcon to someone in your will, you never had a falcon, but everyone will be like "where the fuck is the falcon?"

— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) May 8, 2014

https://twitter.com/greenteam15/status/288139651447914496

https://twitter.com/relatabledad/status/324901452730486785

https://twitter.com/blopt/status/477708596395126784

Has Missouri ever done a tourism ad with the slogan 'Missouri Loves Company?' If not, what is even the point of Missouri?

— Paige (@PeachCoffin) August 4, 2014

What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.

— Ristolable (@ristolable) August 13, 2014

https://twitter.com/ellaceron/status/508668640930328577

texted this girl back exactly 1 year later. i will let her know if i found the notes in another 365 days pic.twitter.com/xEfwO6jAnM

— chet porter (@chetporter) March 21, 2014

I'm so gangster, I don't even report to Apple when Safari unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches.

— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) June 16, 2011

*passes thru suburbs* roll up ur window, son. this is a bad neighborhood. this is where ppl who comment on newspaper articles live

— TORMABLAS PICKASDFJKLFDSNMKOFDSJ (@Tormny_Pickeals) January 17, 2013