The Difference Between Infatuation And Obsession
Dating is a game of chase as well as chess. One wrong step and checkmate. They say those who know the rules of the game are the ones who come out with flying colors. But in reality, we all know the rules; following them to the syllable is really the crux of the problem.
It is possible to get so infatuated with someone that we can hook ourselves to their social media page for hours and stay glued to the phone waiting for one measly little text or a phone call while the world around us might well be crumbling into disintegration. We put away all priorities and place that one person before everything else. Daydreaming becomes our favorite thing to do and we plan the first date thousands of times with our imagination set aflutter. Friends feel like choking themselves to death in our company as we keep feeding them with useless information about the “one.” We have all been there. However, you need to worry if you find yourself in that state perpetually.
Do you go off to sleep while thinking about them? Is your waking thought centered on them? Are you deliberately frequenting places where you are most likely to bump into that person? Do you know the names of all their Facebook friends and family, especially people who you consider potential threats? Are you the only one who tries to initiate a conversation, ALWAYS? If you have answered yes to all these questions then this is the time you should take not one but ten steps backwards. Just pull yourself together and take control of your feelings. If the person is not interested even after so much of effort on your part, they will probably never be.
Mastering the art of self-control can be quite daunting. But who wants to be thought of as belonging to the clingy and breathing-down-the-neck zone? Obsessive stalking and texting not only pushes the person on the receiving end of it away, but also erodes your self-esteem and precious time. While it is very painful to not have your feelings reciprocated, it is worse to settle for something less just to fill that void.
Heartbreak also gives us a temporary license to go crazy. Make use of it and embark on an insanely fun but safe adventure to restore excitement back into your life. Take up a hobby. If you do not have any, cultivate one. Go out with friends, be more social, and pamper yourself with a little of whatever it is you love to do (other than brooding over lost love). To be precise, make yourself busy. No dark phase lasts forever. But you have to pull yourself out of it. While others might be there to help you, no one can make your agony or restlessness go away until you accept it as a problem and decide to let it go.
There will be so many occasions where we won’t get what we want. But if we let ourselves succumb to that failure and get consumed in a haze of misconceptions and false notions, it’s likely that we have set the train on a path of permanent damage. Therefore it is crucial to have the faith, believe there will be someone better, and finally move on.