Thought Catalog
September 9, 2014

5 Reasons Not To Date A Girl Who Travels

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Vladimir Melnik / (Shutterstock.com)
Vladimir Melnik / (Shutterstock.com)

Yes, she is breathtaking and exciting, and she lives like she’s got life on a leash. She radiates an inexplicably magnetic charm whenever she enters a room, and her free-spirited attitude has got you wanting to jump off cliffs into oceans and hop on the next flight to Delhi for a selfie at the Taj Mahal. Her refreshing air of unpredictability will constantly keep you on your toes, and her sun-kissed skin and glimmering eyes will always leave you wanting more, more, more.

But what happens when time passes and you slowly get glimpses of the girl that exists underneath? After all, there surely must be a reason why she chose to walk the path of a traveler when she could have easily taken the gold-paved road of a tourist.

1. She has wanderlust.

You do know what the word “wanderlust” really means, don’t you? And no, we’re not referring to the whimsical new-age definition of wanderlust where one is perceived as this carefree, twinkly-eyed wayfarer with a strong innate desire to constantly travel or rove about. We’re referring to the truth, the one that lies unwritten between those lines but is still stark as hell if you look closely enough: She is a person who will never truly be happy in one place.

Yes, she will have a strong desire to constantly travel about, and yes, she will constantly yearn to explore new places and discover new things, but this also means that you will need to be more than the average Joe to keep her engaged. You will be killing the essence of her soul if you tie her down to the mundane rituals of regular dating, and as much as I hate to be the one to break this to you, she is highly likely to get bored of you if you lead your life with even the slightest tinge of complacency.

And yes, she may also be carefree and twinkly-eyed, but that will remain so only if she’s constantly on the go—often away from you. So if you have your own inferiority complexes, be careful you don’t end up the reason that eventually drains the spark from that very effervescence you fell in love with in the first place.

2. She is impossible to please.

Let me rephrase that: A girl who travels is actually impossibly easy to please, only in ways that will be utterly incomprehensible to you at first. If you think picking up the tab at a fancy restaurant or sending a few lavish gifts her way every now and then is enough to make her world revolve around you, you’ll be in for a good life lesson. She is not looking for everyday mundane experiences; she is constantly seeking out extraordinary adventures.

If you want to get serious with a girl who travels, you need to drop all the rules that govern the average dating arena. Wait three days after a date to call, and she’ll write you off as a douche because you have just exposed yourself as a well-polished and faithful follower of the game. Shower her with clichéd sweet nothings and lengthy love sonnets, and she will drop you as quickly as it took you to [Ctrl C+Ctrl V] your “poetry” from Google.

Chances are, a girl who travels will probably appreciate that handcrafted photo card you made for her more than any Tiffany bracelet you can buy from the store. And she will probably also prefer hours of walking to absolutely nowhere in mind as long as you’re beside her than to warm the front seat of your latest BMW convertible, much to the envy of various green-eyed onlookers.

I’m not saying she won’t enjoy the occasional stereotypical movie and dinner date every once in a while, but if that is all you have up your sleeves, buddy, you have yourself embroiled in a huge miscalculation.

3. She is independent.

Years of being on the road with little more than a map and bare essentials have molded her into this beautiful, tough, independent, and no-frills woman that intrigues you to your very core. She holds herself well and she doesn’t ever seem to get frazzled by daily existence, but guess what? This also means that she will never need you. She can carry her own bags. She can fix up her own furniture. If there is a fire in her house, chances are she’s not going to have a nervous breakdown because she probably already has a contingency plan thought out for that. Stay away from a girl who travels because you’ll be put through surefire hell living with the knowledge that she doesn’t need you and that her being with you is merely out of choice, not necessity.

And also, for the record? You didn’t choose her. She chose you.

4. She is flaky.

A girl who travels lusts for more than just adventure and discovery. She lusts for personal space, freedom, and escapism. She probably resents her full-time job because she sees it as something that ties her down to the day-to-day. She’ll probably resent you, too, if you make it impossible to travel—with or without you.

A girl who travels knows just how big this world is, and she will not be quick to succumb to social or peer pressure because she knows that her opportunities are boundless. She will change her mind a hundred times a day simply because she knows there are a hundred different options from which to choose. Sometimes, she appears highly selfish, careless, fickle, and even unstable, but know that once she makes her mind up about something, she will walk through walls if that’s what it takes to get to where she wants to be.

A girl who travels is responsible but not necessarily reliable. Place her in stressful situations, and she will take flight—simply because she knows she can.

5. She is not good for your self-esteem.

She travels alone. She speaks to strangers. She has a wealth of information and experiences that may well exceed your own. Unless you’re properly grounded in your years and have done your own adventuring, you will always be in sixes and sevens every time she’s out there exploring and you’re not there beside her. Is she talking to other guys right now? What’s holding her attention? Why isn’t she calling and how come she’s taking so long to reply to your text? And who are all these new guys she’s just added as friends on Facebook? If all these distressing questions don’t drive you into an anxiety attack, you’ll probably still end up feeling like you’ll never be able to catch up with her. Especially not when she comes back with pictures and stories of her climb up Machu Picchu or her latest trekking expedition to the Everest Base Camp—both of which you weren’t a part of. So unless you’re confident, self-assured, and mature enough to deal with a girl who’s probably stronger and tougher and more boisterous than any other girl you’ve ever dated, don’t even tread close to a girl who travels.

The truth is, a girl who travels is easy to fall in love with but not easy to stay in love with. Dating a girl who travels will either be the best thing that has ever happened to you or the worst nightmare you’ve ever allowed yourself to walk into. And while you may have read this article thinking that it was a helpful piece of advice in your favor, the truth is that this article was crafted for the benefit of her.

On behalf of all other girls who travel, I sincerely beseech you to stay away. Stay away if you know you can’t keep up with her. Stay away even if you refuse to admit that deep inside, you are starting to churn with resounding dread that you aren’t good enough for her. A girl who travels needs a boy who will help her fly, not one who cripples her and ties her down to Earth. She needs a boy who is secure and wise enough to let her go, knowing that at the end of the day, she can always find her way back to him.

For what she has seen and done, a girl who travels will love you more intensely and passionately than you have ever experienced. Because of everything she has been through, she encompasses the magic she needs to excite you, to make you see things in ways you have never seen. So if you are unyielding and tenacious enough to make it through loving a girl who travels, then guess what? Be prepared, for she will leave footprints on your heart in ways you have never imagined possible. TC mark