Thought Catalog
December 11, 2015

4 Ways To Maintain Your Partner’s Happiness That Aren’t All About Sex

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Twenty20 / prozipix
Twenty20 / prozipix

I recently had an interesting conversation with one of my best female friends. We talked about what makes us really happy in our relationships. I have been together with my girlfriend for about one year and she just got together with a guy who she considers the love of her life.

We ended up talking about what we think makes the opposite sex happy in a relationship. Whereas I listed all kinds of characteristics that a guy must have to ensure that his girlfriend is happy, she just looked at me with a cheeky smile and said:

“Come on, be honest. All you guys want in a relationship is sex. As soon as your girlfriend takes off her clothes you are happy.”

I then told her that it is not that easy to make us happy.

Of course sex is an important part of every relationship, but the things that make a man really happy have nothing to do with naked skin and orgasms.

When she looked at me puzzled, I saw that this wasn’t the answer that she expected. As we continued to talk about how to make a man stick around, I realized that she really thought that all she has to do to keep her boyfriend interested is to be good in bed.

I didn’t want to destroy her illusions, but I just couldn’t prevent myself from telling her that there are other things that a girl has to do in order to keep a man forever. None of those things are related to sex.

1. Show Your Support

What’s the first thing you can do to make sure that a man who once fell in love with you will always be in love with you? One sure way to make him addicted to you is to support him. Showing your support to a man, especially when he is working on his vision, is extremely powerful.

There is this saying that behind every successful man is a strong woman. If you want to be with a successful man you should make sure that you support him during times when he is anything but successful.

Success doesn’t come over night, but if you have a boyfriend who works on his vision every day and invests all his time and energy in achieving his goals, he will never leave you if you support him, no matter how many girls he could have once he reaches success.

I talked with a lot of my buddies about how we imagine our perfect girlfriend to be and all of them said that they dream about a girl who supports them in both good and bad times. Be that girl and your boyfriend won’t have any reason to leave you.

2. Tell Him That You Love Him

I have read in countless articles that men should tell their girlfriends that they love them and that women want to feel appreciated and loved by hearing the most powerful three words that exist. I couldn’t find one article that claimed that men want the same.

Who says that feeling loved and appreciated is something that only women want to feel?

Oh, I understand. Men don’t talk about their feelings, because they think that this would be a sign of emotional weakness. Even though a lot of men falsely believe that showing their emotions is a sign of weakness, they still have those emotions.

Men want to feel appreciated and loved in the same way that women do. You won’t believe how happy your boyfriend will be when you tell him that you love him. This makes our heart thump and it makes us feel good about ourselves. Who would be stupid and leave a girl who makes him feel amazing every day?

3. Make Yourself Beautiful For Him

What did you wear when you went on the first date with your boyfriend? I am pretty sure you put on some makeup, you wore a nice dress and you made sure that you smell nice. How do you walk around today?

I know that this question might offend you but I am here to help you to keep your boyfriend forever and not to tell you what you want to hear. The truth is that a girlfriend who takes care of herself and who makes an effort to look beautiful means a lot to us.

You can continue to wear sweatpants every day and stop shaving your legs, but if you really want to keep a guy forever you should make yourself beautiful from time to time. You don’t have to walk around like a professional model all day. Nobody expects that. However, taking your best dress out of the closet can help you to keep him.

The reason why this is important is not because all guys are superficial and are only attracted to physical beauty. The true reason why this is so effective to keep a guy is because it communicates that you care about him and that you want to look beautiful for him. You might regard it as an additional effort, but we regard it as a sign of love.

4. Defend Him

A couple of days ago I was in a pub with some friends. Two of them were arguing about some irrelevant stuff and even though neither of them could truly be right or wrong, one of my friend’s girlfriends was verbally attacking him while she defended the other guy. I just had to look him in the face and I immediately knew how angry he was at his girlfriend.

Sometimes I think that it has become a popular sport among women to make fun of their boyfriends in public and to stab them in the back. It’s easy to tell from the outside that the relationships in which the woman acts like that are anything but happy.

For women this might seem like an innocent joke, but for us guys this is the same as betrayal. As a couple you should help each other, support each other and defend each other.

Men want women who are loyal. I don’t mean loyal in the sense of being submissive, but in the sense of supporting each other and being companions. Think twice before you make fun of your boyfriend in public. He might never forgive you. If you defend him, he will always remember it. TC mark

This post originally appeared at Attract The One.

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