Thought Catalog
May 7, 2015

I Want A Man Who Wants Me First

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What is the issue?

Tell me who I have to be to get some reciprocity?

How many times have you heard “go for it girl!” Your friends screaming out, “take a chance on life!” And so you do. Because who can build your confidence more than the girlfriends who know you best? No one.

I mean he’s showing all the signs. Kinda. He’s saying all the right things. Kinda. But yet you and your friends have yourself convinced that he’s into you, kinda. You see there is a whole lot of truth to that little doubt that you have in the back of your mind. But your just so pumped because of the way he looked at you last night that you push those things further and further away from your mind until they resurface when the disappointment has settled and your reminding yourself of the little things you should have known to determine he’s just not that into you. Because girl if he was you’d have to beat him off with a stick.

So anyway, you tell him. I like you. You say the words out loud. Or type in a phone. If you’re anything like me, the guy is shocked and had no idea because you haven’t as so much rubbed your titty against his shoulder “by accident.” But lo and behold he says those infamous, rejection words, “I don’t see you like that. We’re just such good friends.” If he’s really nice (even though its just more douchie of him) he might add, “I’m flattered though.”

Aren’t you tired of rejection? Don’t you ever want to be pursued? Chased? How can that happen if you go off yapping to every guy you like about how much you like him. Leave a little mystery.

You know the guys you can’t seem to get to stop calling you? Those persistent suckers? I’m not saying those are the guys you should be looking for. But you gotta admit its commendable. They know what they want and they go after it.

Reciprocity. I want a man that wants me too. In fact I want a man who wants me first.

You don’t have to speak first at a bar. If he wanted to talk to you he would have said hello or offered to buy you a drink. I know it’s the age of the modern, bold woman. But Carrie Bradshaw didn’t get married until she was damn near forty.

You can still be bold and modern, but be WANTED first.

I’ve decided the next time I share my feelings with a man, it’ll be after he has shown me, told me how much he wants me. I’m not gonna have to guess, I’ll know, for sure. I’m not dragging feelings out of men anymore or forcing someone to pick me or choose me. If they don’t think I’m exceptional the way I think they are, I’ll just move on.

How many times have you spilled your guts to someone and stuck around in the friend zone for months trying to convince them that you’re everything they’re looking for? Spending time in unrequited like, hoping that eventually they’ll change their mind. And once in a while they do. But who wants to tell the story about how they wore their man down? It should be the other way around.

Just some good, old fashioned, mutual feelings. TC mark