Social Darwin Award Candidate Films Himself on 24-hour Binge of Four Loko
By Sari Moon
The bro who filmed this event, in seven parts (all of which you can see here), writes about the experience:
After filming this video, I turned the camera off, put it on the ground and passed out on the toilet. Somehow I stayed vertical and spent the next ten hours with my ass glued to the seat, dead to the world. My wife came downstairs and shook me awake. The entire room smelled of Four Loko – it was like the worst prom after-party ever. I opened all the windows and walked upstairs, where I passed out again in bed. I slept fitfully for another four hours. When I woke up, I stank of the stuff. My mouth was dry and there was a giant sweat stain on the bed. Everything reeked. I threw the windows open in the basement for the next few days but I can still smell it, a medicinal, cheap tang that makes me nauseous just thinking about it. There’s a ring of bruises on my asscheeks. It was so cold down there that some of the skin stuck to the seat.
Toward the halfway point of the video above, we see him realize – as he films from on top of the toilet – that this whole idea was a terrible one. Duh?
“You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on you. “
So many wonderful songs seem to have fallen through the cracks and all but disappeared.
By Rob Fee
More important than your real-life first love is the fictional first love you experience via your television set.
By Erin Long
Well I mean first of all, it’s never a good idea to approach a hot black girl with an opening line about how much you love chocolate!