Why I’ll Never Be Good Enough For Him, And Why I Shouldn’t Want To Be

It’s happened again. I’m sitting here crying over the guy who broke my heart. Typical, right? Only this time, I’m experiencing Déjà Vu. It’s simple to reach back into my past and recall the last heartbreak that had me paralyzed in emotions. That one boy who swore he loved me, had me move across the country to be with him, only to realize he was cheating.

Not just any cheating, though, a constant stream of lies filled his mouth and he didn’t even know what he was doing half the time. In all of that mess, I’ll never forget him telling me that I just wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t what he was looking for. It took 2.5 years for you to see this? But thought it better to wait for a random night to break my heart? Cruel. This is my life, though, and I refused to hear those words again.

Fast-forward almost 5 years and my ears are ringing with repetition. The fight, the tears, and the sad and meaningless expression he has positioned so intricately on his face. This break-up blindsided me. Every word was so well versed from his end, and mine felt like blubber. Clearly he had been planning this. How did I lose my perfect boyfriend? The man I was supposed to marry? The man with whom we bought a house together? We had pets. We had furniture. We had our nightly dose of Netflix and cuddling that most people envy. Our relationship was, in a way, perfect. But here’s the cold actuality: perfection doesn’t exist.

So, as I sat on my couch that we had purchased together, and was told that I wasn’t right for him, that I wasn’t “good enough,” I had had enough.

Who are men to say these phrases to women? Who is anyone to tell another his or her worth? To be told there’s something “better” out there waiting for them, well, that’s just cocky. But to then tell the person who has dedicated themself fully to you that their love, and everything they offer, is not and never will be enough.

So here’s my new stance. I don’t want to be good enough anymore. I fought, hard, to be good enough for these men. I fought for their love, I fought to prove myself. But here’s the thing, I shouldn’t have ever had to do that. I am more than “good enough.” Every girl is. We are not measurement cups that you tip off at the top and say “eh, looks good enough.” No, we are women. We are worth so much more than the outrageous checklists for decency that reside in a man’s pocket.

We are great. I am great. I will never fight to be good enough again, because I am no one’s depth for standard. I am a person, successful and beautiful. I am a person who warrants more than a break-up cop out. And you know what, guys? That break-up line just wasn’t “good enough” for me.