Thought Catalog
September 23, 2014

5 Signatures Moves Every Great Sexter Lives By

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What is the issue?

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When Jennifer Lawrence and various other celebrities had their stolen nude photos released, I was not appalled that these famous people had done what was deemed scandalous. Instead I was disgusted that some terrible person had violated their privacy and released the photos despite their intimate nature. Sexting and nude photos in general have a negative connotation to them because of the risks that taking them entails, i.e. that you might become some lonely person’s porn for the day. And the Jennifer Lawrence scandal reminds us that it can happen to literally anyone.

But does that mean that you should never in a million years ever sext or send that risqué picture? Measures can be taken so that you can have some special sexy time with your significant other even if you aren’t with them. So here goes.

Tips for getting riled digitally:

1. Never include your face in a picture

This takes away some of the risk of being identified. It makes it less personal, while still giving you an opportunity to show just how much you want your sexting partner.

2. Don’t surprise your partner with a sexy picture out of nowhere

Seriously: I have been the recipient of some unwarranted dick pics. And I can tell you it’s a whole lot sexier if we are already talking about doing the dirty and if you tell me ahead of time that you want to send one.

3. When it comes to the typing out what you want, be communicative

Ya, I know it’s a little freaky and at times it can be kinda uncomfortable. But if you aren’t feeling as though you can tell this person exactly what you want, then perhaps they aren’t someone you should be sexting. In addition, if they want to be with you intimately, they probably want to know exactly what you want. There is nothing more sexy in the entire world then being told, “ I want you here and now on this [insert favorite piece of furniture]!”

4. Be honest

Don’t go trying to talk about some crazy tip you got from the latest Cosmo magazine if that’s not something you are in to or if you have no idea what it even means. You should only say what you are comfortable with. If you don’t actually want to do it or if you don’t want them to do it to you… well then maybe skip that text message.

5. Most importantly, everyone sexts a little differently

Have fun with it and add your own flair to it. And don’t take yourself too seriously. If it doesn’t work out or things get uncomfortable, laugh it off. Everyone is learning how to deal with their partners, and it’s a process so don’t worry!

Sexting can add so much to a relationship, building anticipation for the big moments with your partner and can keep the passion alive for those who have seemingly run out of new things to try. No one should ever be ashamed of their consensual sexting, but just remember to be thoughtful, as with any sexual practices. TC mark

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