September 23, 2013

6 Ways To Deal With An Emotionally Unstable Friend

We all have them, heck, we might be one of them. Emotions run in all different shapes and sizes and as a friend we all feel somewhat obligated to soothe the temper tantrums, drunken rants, and denial.

We all most certainly try, and some say that is the best that can be done. But there are a couple things you should try before you walk away from a friends instability:

1. Understand That They Are Not You.

Do not expect them to look at you as a guru in life and follow your advise to mental freedom. They may not be as strong when it comes to what may seem simple things to you. The most important thing you can do for that person is listen to everything before trying to advise or suggest things. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to listen.

2. When You Do Get To A Place Where The Person Is Looking For Your Guidance, Remember It’s All About Them.

Approach the situation with sympathy even if you do not feel any sympathy for them. If they are your friend, this should be natural. If  this isn’t the case, well that is another conversation. Just be very kind in letting them know you don’t feel comfortable and suggest someone else they can speak with.

 3. If You’re All About Tough Love, Be Mindful Of Your Friend’s Tough Love Tolerance.

If you have them in your best interest the entire time, they will respond well and come around. If not, choose a different tactic.

 4. Never Overshadow Their Problems With Your Own!

This is their time, let them have it all. They are in a really vulnerable position opening up to you, don’t deter them from doing it again or even worsen their mood by basically saying you have no interest.

5. Be An Open Book When It Comes To Your Relationship

Ask them questions so they know you are being sincere and actually giving them the help or steps to the help they need. If they resist and you feel they are creating an even deeper hole, let them know! It is important to be honest and make sure they are listening to their answers as much as you are.

6. Never Tell A Soul Unless They’re In A Life Or Death Situation

This is important. Taking someones precious words when confiding in you then spreading it around even amongst mutual friends may create a larger issue. If they feel  they have lost your trust, they may reflect this incident on different or even a more serious issue, if it is not already there.  The problem may even become deeper because all your friends did not read this list and approached the situation in exactly how they shouldn’t have.

The last thing I’d like to add is be kind, be gentle. We all have problems and we all go through things but we all go through them differently. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

Saba Aregai

I like maps, really great conversations, and my camera.