13 Possible Taylor Swift Song Titles
1. “Dear John, Jake, Conor, And Whoever Else I Had Sex With This Year Who’s Marginally Famous…”
2. “Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I’m Buying The House Next To Yours So Come Over Maybe”
3. “Every Time I Fall In Love, Someone Gives Me A Million Dollars”
4. “Is It Weird That I’m Hanging Out With Your Grandma While You’re At School?”
5. “I Wanna Be Assassinated”
6. “I F**ked The Wrong Gyllenhaal”
7. “I Love Watching You When You’re Asleep… And When You’re Awake… And Hiding In Your Bushes… And Kidnapping Your Family So It Forces You To Pay Attention To Me!”
8. “Remember When You Woke Up In The Middle Of The Night And Found Me Stroking Your Hair?”
9. “LOL, If You Break My Heart, I Will Just Become More Rich!”
10. “I’m Pregnant With Your Baby. Just Kidding But Come Over Now, I’m Baking Cookies!”
11. “I Get Paid To Be Insane! Jealous?”
12. “No, John Mayer’s Dick Was Bigger Than That”
13. “Loving Taylor Swift By Taylor Swift For Taylor Swift”
A | A | A
Dear Liam, I know who you are. I know what you want. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have is a very particular set of skills.
18. It helps if your cat can grow a mustache.
Meet him young, at a time when you’re not old enough to realize how precious he is.
By its very nature as a rigorous athletic sport, basketball discriminates in favor of the young.