13 Possible Taylor Swift Song Titles
1. “Dear John, Jake, Conor, And Whoever Else I Had Sex With This Year Who’s Marginally Famous…”
2. “Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I’m Buying The House Next To Yours So Come Over Maybe”
3. “Every Time I Fall In Love, Someone Gives Me A Million Dollars”
4. “Is It Weird That I’m Hanging Out With Your Grandma While You’re At School?”
5. “I Wanna Be Assassinated”
6. “I F**ked The Wrong Gyllenhaal”
7. “I Love Watching You When You’re Asleep… And When You’re Awake… And Hiding In Your Bushes… And Kidnapping Your Family So It Forces You To Pay Attention To Me!”
8. “Remember When You Woke Up In The Middle Of The Night And Found Me Stroking Your Hair?”
9. “LOL, If You Break My Heart, I Will Just Become More Rich!”
10. “I’m Pregnant With Your Baby. Just Kidding But Come Over Now, I’m Baking Cookies!”
11. “I Get Paid To Be Insane! Jealous?”
12. “No, John Mayer’s Dick Was Bigger Than That”
13. “Loving Taylor Swift By Taylor Swift For Taylor Swift”
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There’s nothing worse than the person who pretends to wear their heart on their sleeve when they actually have an ace up it.
In any romantic relationship, there’s an unspoken contract of “I will provide for your needs if you provide for mine. I will entertain you, I will give you emotional fulfillment, I will satisfy your sexual desires, and you will do the same for me. That’s the deal.” These are needs that every human shares.
2. Don’t be afraid to approach him.
1. Like a freezer without burritos