October 19, 2012

The 5 Types Of Friends Everyone Should Have

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What is the issue?

1. The friend who is always “down for whatever”

Why does everyone act like they’re so busy all the time? I have some friends who, if I want to see them, I have to call them at least a week in advance and give notice. “Hi friend. I don’t mean to scare you or stress you out but I would love to see you IRL on this date. Please let me know if that works for you.” Then, of course, it doesn’t work and you have to reschedule. Before you know it, it’s taken a month just to meet for a stupid happy hour.  I realize that everyone has jobs and/or relationships now but I call bullshit on constantly being busy. It’s not real. I think people are just lying in bed and feeling too anxious to move. They’re not busy because their social calendar is full; they’re busy because they’re crazy. That’s why it’s imperative that you have a friend who is readily available and doesn’t require a 21-day notice to hang out. You can text them the day of and be like, “Wanna grab a drink later?” And instead of screaming and throwing their phone against the wall, they respond, “sure!” Ah, how refreshing! Not only is this friend reliable but you can take them pretty much anywhere and they won’t complain. They don’t have all these neuroses that dictate where they can and cannot go. If you tell them to meet in some weird neighborhood in four hours for an art show in some abandoned loft, they’d just be like, “k.” I have friends who would just LAUGH, SCREAM, AND CRY if I texted them that. “HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT WE HANG OUT ON THE FLY! Don’t you know that I’m very, very busy being busy?”

2. The friend who is slightly “cooler” than you

Nah, don’t trip. Having slightly cooler friends shouldn’t be an attack on your self-esteem. They’re just good to have around because they actually know of parties and other social happenings. Honestly, if it weren’t for certain friendships, I wouldn’t know of anything that was going on ever. I’d live in a black hole and be ignorant of all things that are fun. If you’re not inherently very social, it’s especially good to surround yourself with a few people who like to go out and, you know, actually do stuff. They force you out of your comfort zone and inspire you to make the most out of your youth.

3. The friend who you admire

Friendships are ideally between two people who are on an equal playing field.  Otherwise, it can be weird when you’re friends with someone who you feel isn’t that smart or, on the opposite end, is too smart or too cool and therefore just makes you feel stupid all the time. Somewhere in the middle though, there can be a friend who inspires you to be better, smarter, and funnier without making you feel weird. You look at them and can’t help but admire who they are. This friend doesn’t ever slight you or make you feel inadequate. On the contrary, being around them and their beautiful brain just challenges you to keep being the best version of yourself.

4. The friend who doesn’t know any of your other friends

I usually don’t like to keep my friends separate from each other because it makes me feel weird and sketchy. That being said, sometimes you just can’t help it. The friends you have from work, for example, may never meet your “slightly cooler” friend and that’s okay. It can actually be really nice when you’re friends with someone who is completely removed from your social circle. That means they’re unbiased and not involved in any of your complicated relationships. Your friendship exists entirely on its own as this little welcome treat. It’s basically the friendship equivalent of a mistress except you’re not actually doing anything wrong.

5. The friend whom you’ve known forever

Okay, old friends can either be a blessing or a curse. Like, just because you’ve known someone since the 4th grade, doesn’t mean you’re obligated to keep in touch and maintain a friendship. History can only account for so much, you know? But, sometimes if you’re lucky and your childhood friend is actually cool, it can be amazing having someone around who’s known you for so long. Like, I have this friend in New York who’s from my hometown and I’ve known him since I was 14. We don’t hang out a ton but when we do, it feels nice and comforting. Here’s someone who’s seen me outside of the context of this city and knows me in an entirely different way than anyone else here. That’s special. TC Mark

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