- They tell you “I don’t want to sleep with you.” For many, this is the only thing they ever need to hear. The sheer embarrassment of the rejection keeps them at bay. But for others, well, you’d be surprised by some people’s tenacity.
- They talk to you about other people they want to sleep with, other people who aren’t you. They comment on a person’s good looks in front of you, failing to realize that it could make you feel bad. They’re usually not meaning to be insensitive. You just typically give less thought when it comes to someone you don’t want to sleep with. If they had a crush on you, they would choose their every word very carefully but since they don’t they drop verbal bombs freely.
- They don’t try to kiss you within the first month of meeting you. If you want to have sex with someone, it’s imperative that you make your intentions known ASAP. Otherwise, you risk becoming a friend forever. You can hear the tick tock of the clock in the beginning. Are we going to sleep together or are we going to be just friends? You have a handful of hangouts to answer this question. Don’t waste time.
- They complain about being single and/ or their lack of prospects. This could be a ploy to let you know that they’re ultra available. “I’m single. Why doesn’t anyone want me?” could theoretically translate to “My penis/ vagina is wide open for you. It’s calling you right now actually. Are you going to pick up or what?” But it usually just means, “I’m single. Please, Person I Am Not Attracted To And, Thus, Can Be Vulnerable With, tell me what I’m doing wrong!”
- They look at you with the same amount of indifference, whether you’re all dressed up at a party or doing the walk of the shame the morning after. In their eyes, your appearance never changes. It always stays the same, never garnering a strong reaction either way.
- They make you constantly feel like you have no genitalia, like you aren’t a sexual being. One dismissive glance or thoughtless comment chops your privates off and sends it to Mattel where Barbie and Ken dolls are made.
- They call you “buddy” or “kid.” These terms of endearment usually don’t translate to them screwing you on top of a washer/dryer. You don’t have sex with “kid.” You give “kid” a kiss on the forehead or a love pat on the back.
- Their body language says DO NOT WANT. That stuff is real, y’all! I take all of my cues from other people’s body language. If they aren’t grabbing my knee or putting their hand on my arm as they tell me a funny story, I know they aren’t down with what I have to offer.
- They tell you, “You’ve been such a good friend. I’d be lost without you.” One time a guy said that to me and I took it to mean “I want to be with you forever and get a dog and buy a house together in Los Feliz.” But no, he actually just meant that he really valued our friendship. WTF?
- They talk to you about their ex all the time. I mean, they could still want to sleep with you if they do this but, ew, not chic.
image – Picture Perfect Rose
