Questions For 20-Somethings
Where did your friends go? I mean, you realize that the definition of a friend has become bastardized, especially since you were spit out into this cornfield maze people like to call “the real world”, but you could’ve sworn you had a few good ones left. Maybe you’ll check underneath the bed. Or maybe you’ll check the Internet. Oh, there they are! Tweeting away about their day. Shoot them a text, why don’t you? Wait, you already did and got no response? But they’re tweeting about getting a pedicure. They must’ve gotten it. Why haven’t they responded? Why.
Why are you afraid of being bored? Fill your days with work, appointments, dinners out, and clutch your receipts. You have receipts for everything and when someone asks you what you did today, you can just throw them all in their face. These receipts are supposed to fill the center, they’re supposed to fill the void, but they’re just making it wider. You’re aware of this but you don’t have an alternative so you just show up to places and spend your money and hope it will all add up to a full life. When someone asks you if you’ve ever been loved, take them to your closet.
Where did your future go? You had one just a minute ago. Darn it, did you misplace that too? Is your Future hanging out with your friends? Are they all having a blast together on “Can’t Touch This” Island? You don’t quite understand how this all happened. You took all the tests, got all the right marks, and now it’s added up to this: sitting on your couch in your crappy apartment at 2pm on a Tuesday. No one should be doing this at 2pm on a Tuesday. God, sometimes it feels like you’re the only one who missed the boat. Sometimes it feels like you’re the only person who has nowhere to be at this time. Sometimes it feels like you’re the only who didn’t get it.
Why has no one touched your genitalia in the past 4 months? Don’t they know that everything is in top-notch condition? All systems go, full speed ahead. You’re too young to feel this desexualized. Someone needs to screw you back to life. Anyone really. Line forms at the left people! This is definitely damaging to your psyche. There’ll be repercussions for this. You should know that someone needs to spoon with you at least once a month. Someone needs to make you feel worthy of being loved. Otherwise we’ll all just become so locked inside ourselves and no one, let alone yourself, will be able to get you out.
Why did you get drunk last night why can’t this person just give you some affection why is your roommate eating your food why won’t your mom call you back?
Why am I staying in why am I going out why can’t I maintain a healthy relationship why can’t I like what I see when I’m naked I mean my flesh is still so young I should at least love it now…you know?
Why is it so expensive to fly home wait I don’t mean home I mean place I grew up why do I feel the need to mess everything up when it’s going so well?
Why am I so self-obsessed and such a narcissist? Why do I have so many questions? Why do I question every decision I make?
No one will have the answers to these questions and even if they do, you won’t listen. No one listens these days. All they ever hear is static. Things only come into focus when it’s about them. Tweet this, Instagram that. It’s all about you—the person you know the least. Oh, I think that was an answer to one of your questions. Cool.
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If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”