1. Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus is a polarizing celebrity and rightfully so. Over the years she has said and done some ridiculous things, garnering the wrath of snarky bloggers and concerned moms everywhere. But you know what? That’s what I like about her. She’s a real teenager—someone who says and does stupid things without a hint of self-awareness and I find it refreshing. I’m sure her publicist needs to eat ten Xanax a day just to deal with her shenanigans but whatever. Also, I’m obsessed with her backwards Christian family who let Miley’s boyfriend, a sexy underwear model, move into their house when she was only 16! Their reasoning being that they could better keep an eye on them, but who are they kidding? Why do parents always forget what it was like to be an actual teenager? Hello!!!! They’re having sex in treehouses, their car, your bed. Good going, guys!
2. Rachel Bilson
Rachel Bilson is, by all accounts, a useless celebrity. Since she starred in The O.C., she’s done nothing besides look chic as hell in L.A. and do the occasional non-speaking role in an ice cream commercial. Oh yeah and I guess she’s in a new TV show but there’s no use in mentioning it because by the time this is posted, it will be cancelled. But despite being confused by her purpose, I choose to accept her for what she is, which is a real California gurl with excellent style and a precious face. Plus, her character, Summer Roberts, was the only redeeming quality of that soggy teen soap opera. “Chino, ew!”
3. Edward Norton
I love Edward Norton. That isn’t so weird as loving Rachel Bilson or Miley Cyrus because Ed is actually a talented actor but I’m not necessarily drawn to him because of his acting. It’s something less discernible. Maybe it’s his sexy but approachable good looks. Who knows? What does a celebrity have that makes you want to sit through every movie they’re in, regardless if it looks interesting or not? I’m not sure. Regarding Edward Norton, I think I just get the impression that he’s a genuinely cool guy, someone with a good head on their shoulders who would be fun to talk to…and have sex with. He also dated Courtney Love for three years, which FASCINATES me.
4. Sienna Miller
People love to hate on Sienna Miller and I don’t really understand why. I mean, I guess she “broke up” Jude Law’s marriage and made some poor choices with films and Broadway plays but I happen to like her. I think she actually did an amazing job as Edie Sedgwick in Factory Girl and did anyone ever see her in the movie Interview with Steve Buscemi? She essentially played herself—a diva celebrity with stunning good looks—but she actually was quite captivating in it. Plus, she is so gorgeous. That face! I could watch her do anything and be content. Well, besides that play she was in. That looked positively dreadful.
5. Ethan Hawke
Ethan Hawke is the ’90s. His face is the ’90s, his hair is the ’90s, his body is the ’90s and that’s why I love him. Besides starring in the amazing quintessential ’90s flick, Reality Bites, he also was in the fantastic adaptation of Great Expectations with Queen Gwyneth Paltrow. If you haven’t seen that movie already, please do so immediately. Both Gwyneth and Ethan look drop dead gorgeous and chic—the queen and king of the ’90s respectively. Today Ethan Hawke is a complete DILF and really bad novelist. Have you read his books? Don’t. Don’t mar your beautiful perception of him. I read a few pages and put it down because I just cared about him too much to see this weird untalented side of him. Gosh, I just adore him….