I’m about to give you the best Internet gift ever. Ready? Follow Amanda Bynes on Twitter. Like now. You should’ve been doing it five minutes ago but you had no idea. I understand. Now you know.
Before I discovered Amanda Bynes’ Twitter, I, like most people, never really thought about her. Granted, I’ve always believed she was talented. She’s been doing improv since she was practically a little baby and she recently gave a hilarious performance as a psycho Christian in Easy A. But other than that, she was decidedly under the radar. Her career wasn’t necessarily in the toilet but she was clearly having a hard time carving a niche for herself. Then Amanda Bynes made the worst/best career move of her life and signed up for Twitter.
If a celebrity’s Twitter is entertaining enough, it can make them relevant again. It’s possibly one of the most powerful tools in the industry today. If you’re not starring in any noteworthy movies and your agent is screening your calls, just make Twitter your new job. If you tweet enough of your insane thoughts, you could very well be back on top again.
So that’s sort of what Amanda Bynes did. She got a Twitter and soon enough she was back in the headlines for announcing her retirement from acting at the tender age of 24. Amanda Bynes retiring from acting is hilarious for a multitude of reasons. One being, of course, her age. At 24, her acting career wasn’t exactly prolific enough to merit a lifetime of exhaustion. It’s sort of like Lil Bow Wow (or Bow Wow) being like, “I’m pooped from making music these past few years. I think I will spend the next 65 years of my life doing nothing.” Amanda Bynes also didn’t have the kind of huge career where people would actually give a shit if she stopped. It’s like Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls announcing that she was finished with acting. What do you say other than, “Okay. Bye?”
Even though she later said she was kidding, Bynes’ retiring actually made people pay attention to her again. They knew that she was on a certain level of crazy for tweeting that shit so she probably gained like 30,000 followers from the incident alone. Little did people know that they were in for a real tweet treat by adding her. Here are some of my favorite tweets of hers.
After tweeting that her puppy, Lil Angel, had gone missing and died, Amanda tweeted five days later about a new puppy she just bought.
I got another pomeranian puppy that I’d like to introduce to you, her name is Tiara :)
For those asking if it’s too soon for me to get a new puppy, it isn’t too soon. Tiara’s helping me cope with the loss of Little Angel.
Thank you everyone who understands.
Amanda Bynes on The Things She Loves
I love my family!!!!!
5:41 PM Apr 4th via Twitter for iPhone
I love removing evil folks from my life!!!!
5:39 PM Apr 4th via Twitter for iPhone
I love the people in my life sooooo much!!!!!
1:58 AM Apr 4th via Twitter for iPhone
Amanda Bynes on Music
NOTHING is better than music
11:34 PM Mar 16th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
What’s better than music?
11:24 PM Mar 16th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Amanda Bynes on Love and Marriage
I’d date a guy that has a kid or kids if we’re in love
5:50 PM Feb 26th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
I take back that I’m only into dating guys that don’t have kids
5:49 PM Feb 26th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
I’m into getting married and having kids with my husband
3:12 PM Feb 16th via txt
only into dating guys that don’t already have kids
3:10 PM Feb 16th via txt
i want to get married to a good guy that loves me more than he loves his friends…. guys with too many friends aren’t good husbands i hear.
i always wanted to get married on 11/11/11 but i will be happy whatever day i get married. it doesn’t have to be that day.
February 10, 2011 5:04:05 AM EST via web
that’ll be the best day of my life, that and my wedding day
4:50 AM Feb 10th via web
i will immediately twit pic my engagement ring and show everybody
4:41 AM Feb 10th via web
i like dating someone i like but i can’t wait to be “off the market” & call my boyfriend my husband.. lots of people are getting engaged….
4:40 AM Feb 10th via web
i only like love when it’s deep
10:38 PM Feb 12th via txt
?
10:24 PM Feb 11th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
you
10:18 PM Feb 11th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
love
10:18 PM Feb 11th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
i
10:14 PM Feb 11th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Deep Thoughts by Amanda Bynes
hurt people hurt people
2:06 PM Feb 16th via txt
i love people that love me
5:07 PM Feb 13th via txt
#iwrotethat #latenightdeepthoughts
3:50 AM Feb 10th via web
“everything is connected and connection is everything”
3:38 AM Feb 10th via web
God’s always watching
9:34 PM Feb 8th via web
Quotes by Amanda Bynes
I love tweeting quotes, some I find and some I write
February 15, 2011 7:22:03 PM EST via txt
there’s somebody for everybody
February 15, 2011 7:20:43 PM EST via txt
actions speak louder than words
February 15, 2011 7:17:13 PM EST via txt
consistency is everything when it comes to love
12:16 AM Feb 15th via txt
Inconsistent people are so disappointing, you get your hopes up for them and they keep hurting you
12:14 AM Feb 15th via txt
If you’re not consistent, you get no love from me
12:11 AM Feb 15th via txt
Amanda Bynes on Fame
little angel didn’t even watch it. she was chewing anything she could possibly chew while I watched it. rude!!!!
2:13 AM Feb 13th via txt
I’m on my couch and in that movie at the same time. whoa.
2:10 AM Feb 13th via txt
i’m in that movie. it was crazy… I watched it and saw myself in that freaking movie
2:09 AM Feb 13th via txt
I totally just watched Hairspray on ABC.
2:07 AM Feb 13th via txt
Amanda Bynes is clearly a sad crazy person but it’s not totally her fault. That’s what happens when you’re a child star—you catch a bad case of Peter Pan Syndrome and become developmentally stunted. Let’s just hope she gets into some therapy ASAP and live tweets her sessions. 
