Christian Man Thinks Everything Looks Like A Penis
So the internet is really weird and I almost can’t deal with it. Like I always knew there were a lot of people in this world who were crazy but I took solace in knowing that it wasn’t in my face 24/7. Now thanks to videos like the one above, I’m reminded of it everyday.
In this daily reminder that everyone is psycho (except for you of course), a man tries to explain that there is Satanism at the Denver International Airport by showing paintings that supposedly contain phallic symbols. I don’t doubt that there are signs of Satan at an airport (All that casual wear and La Salsa’s can’t mean anything good) but I don’t think there are any in the Doctor Office Art. I also find it weird that this old Christian dude is seeing penises when he looks at a picture of an extinct bird. Granted, I see dick when I look at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show but that’s because I’m gay and I like to surround myself with as many penis-y things as possible. What’s this guy’s excuse? Repressed sexual tendencies brought on by religion? Ha! Likely story…
So yeah. Christians still continue to be weird. The internet is still weirder. And airports have always been the root of all evil. Got it?
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Dear Liam, I know who you are. I know what you want. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have is a very particular set of skills.
18. It helps if your cat can grow a mustache.
Meet him young, at a time when you’re not old enough to realize how precious he is.
By its very nature as a rigorous athletic sport, basketball discriminates in favor of the young.