In case you haven’t noticed, we at Thought Catalog love teenagers. We just can’t get enough of little children who are growing into their big adult bodies while trying not to go temporarily insane in the process. When it comes down to it, I guess we’re just jealous of them. We’re jealous that they get to fall in love for the first time while we’re waking up in a stranger’s apartment for the millionth time. We’re jealous that they will eventually get to be drunk and smoke “cigarettes” for the first time while we’re getting hangovers from two glasses of wine. God bless teens for providing us with so much inspiration and making us appreciate our youth.
Taking our obsession with teenagers to the next level, we decided to just interview one. Just like any ol’ teenager who’s going to high school, waking up at 7 a.m. every morning, getting in fights with their parents, and dreaming of college. Perhaps by doing so, we could gain more insight into their fascinating world. We could start to remember more vividly what it was like for us back then. Ok, screw it! We did it because we wanted to get invited to their parties! The jig is up, you fools! You know I’ll do anything for a warm white wine spritzer and a game of “Never Have I Ever”….
We talked to Nelson—a nice senior in high school— about parties, parents, and a special announcement for prom.
Thought Catalog: A/S/L?
Nelson Teenager: I am an 18 year old male living in Connecticut.
TC: So you were totally born in the 90s? Did you know that makes me feel old?
NT: Yes, I was totally born way back in the nineties. And yes, I do know how that makes you feel old, but I won’t rub it in.
TC: Describe your high school and what crowd you fall under.
NT: Lots of things could describe my high school: good athletics, strong academics, or strong arts and drama. We even have that clique state-champs football team. However, I can’t really say I was responsible for that because I spent more time running track and studying.
TC: Who’s your best friend?
NT: My friend John. He and I have been friends ever since the end of 8th grade. We have spend lots of time together: classes in school, some sport seasons, and lots adventures (everything from train rides to midnight drives), which have all been a blast.
TC: Tell me about the last big drama you had with your friends.
NT: Unfortunately, I work too hard at not causing drama with my friends, to risk reigniting the most recent one by telling you. (Ed note: you can’t blame a serious journalist for trying…)
TC: Are you excited to finish high school? What are your preconceived notions of college?
NT: Yes, I am very excited to finish high school. Excited because of all the depictions of college: the great education and the great parties.
TC: Tell me about the girlfriends you’ve had in high school.
NT: I have only had one girlfriend during my time in high school–and it’s been great. We have been dating for a little over six months. We have gone on countless dates and “interesting” double date marathons, and hopefully many more.
TC:What kinds of drugs are popular in your high school?
NT: Every single type of alcohol, everyday of the week.
TC: Do you get along with your parents?
NT: Yes, I love my parents and I figure I’ll love them even more once I leave for college.
TC: What are your plans for prom?
NT: There are lots of different things to do the night of prom. The include, in chronological order of expected time, pre-pre-prom, pre-prom, prom, post- prom, and then post-post-prom.
TC: Is there a certain special girl you would like to take?
NT: Yes, there’s a special girl that I want to take to prom. She’s really pretty, the best girlfriend and I really hope she says yes. So Emma, will you go to prom with me?
DID YOU HEAR THAT, EMMA? He wants to take you to prom! And judging by the little I’ve learned, I think you should say yes. Nelson runs track, which means he’s an athletic babe, remembers to study, and loves his parents?! Keep this boy around for awhile. He’s a Brandon Walsh living amongst a world of Dylan McKays.