The Catholic Church Gets A Modern Makeover Via New Confession App
You know the running joke, “Oh there’s an app for that!”? Well, it’s not so much of a joke anymore with the release of a new mobile app called, “Confession: A Roman Catholic App” in which believers can be given a step-by-step guide to admitting their sins and be able to confess on the go. Like, while on their way to the drug dealer or to kick it with a prostitute! Anyone with a $1.99, an iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, and a guilty conscience is invited to join in on the shame spiraling! And in case you’re wondering whether or not the church would ever condone such a thing, you’d be happy to know that the app was actually created by two priests and endorsed by a Bishop. Thank Christ! Granted, the app is not designed to be an equal substitute for the confessional, however, it’s meant to complement the sacrament, provide you with suggested acts of contrition and offer a “personal examination of conscience.” Gosh, this feels like it could be an article written by The Onion, but it’s not. It’s oh so painfully real.
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If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”