Thought Catalog
March 19, 2017

How To Love An Independent Woman

Report This Article
What is the issue?
Jean Gerber

It was never too easy to be alone. To walk without anyone, to cross the road, to explore new things, to learn new things all by yourself. You always thought that it would be boring. You never knew you’ll love doing things alone, until life has taught you to. Until life has given you a chance to discover yourself.

You used to have people around you, to be with you always. As a child, there was your mom. As a teenager, you and your best friend were inseparable. But now, you’re sipping coffee alone. At some point you’ll be left. You have to deal with it. You have to learn to stand with your own feet. Being independent, you have to know things on your own, pay your own bills, and love yourself more.

You took yourself on a movie date. Only then you understood a movie that much. You go shopping alone, only then you realized you loved salmon more than blue. You go on a trip alone, only then you know that your sense of direction sucks. You go on a run alone, only then you beat yourself. You go and try a new sport alone, only then you’ve known that you can do that. You go on a concert alone, you met new people with the same interest, only then you learned to expand your circle. You go biking alone, only then you realized you love sunrise more than sunset.

Sometimes you have to deal with things on your own, not to be alone but to discover more of yourself. You love your independence. You love your freedom. People admire you for being so strong, for being able to conquer the world by yourself. But deep inside you, you know you need someone. Someone to say it’s enough, that you’re enough.

Loving someone who is so used of being independent won’t be as easy as 1, 2, 3. He has to melt down your defenses. You were not alone for no reason. Sometimes, it’s hard for you to trust people. Maybe, you were betrayed countless times, or maybe once, but there’s no difference. All your scars have their own stories, stories of how you built up that wall where you hide your heart.

He has to know and more often, understand you. You used to have all your time by yourself. You may forget to text him before doing something or going anywhere. But as soon as you remember that he exists, call him. You’re not heartless, you’re just so used of having yourself as your priority. But now that he’s there, you’ll slowly put his name on your list, one letter at a time.

To the one who wants her, please understand. She already discovered that she doesn’t want to talk during movies, respect her. She knows that she’s not any good on directions, so direct her path. She has learned to widen her circle, so expect a lot of friends. She has discovered herself alone, but she hasn’t even know how she should be with you.

She’s just too much for herself. She has a lot to share with you. She’s complete by just who she is. You have to be someone of value to be able to have a place in her life. You have to add some value to her, for her to be able to share all hidden treasures with you.

You have to be someone who she can trust, for you to be able to hear about her fallen dreams, her weakness, her cry, her fears and all her beautiful negative traits. It’s easy for her to talk about who she is, but too hard to say who she wanted to be. It’s always easy for her to smile and laugh at any moment, but too hard to show a single worry on her face. You have to be trusted. And you know how? You just have to be yourself and wait. Wait until her barriers were all melted. Just be a man with a burning fire of good intentions to melt all the iced walls surrounding her heart.

You can never teach her about her heart. She knows what she’s doing, and if not, she’ll always find a way. Because she’s used on depending on herself alone. But you can be yourself, wait, get to know her, and make her realize that you are the one she is waiting to tell the stories of past and share the things she always love. She’s too busy loving herself now that she might not notice you, but be patient and show her that you can love her the way she always loves herself. TC mark