September 14, 2016

Everything I Thought I Wanted By 23 (But I’m Actually Glad Life Doesn’t Always Go According To Plan)

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Neill Kumar
Neill Kumar

If you were to ask me 5 years ago, when I was 18 years old, where I thought I’d be when I was 23 – I would have had a whole plan to reiterate to you.

I wanted to be engaged the months following my college graduation, proposed to by the age of 22. I wanted a fall wedding or maybe summer. And a year long engagement.

At 23, I would have already been married by now. Or my wedding would be coming up in the next few months.

I thought I would be living in a North Jersey suburb right outside the city, even though I don’t like North Jersey. And I would be working for an edgy, social media campaign in New York City, even though I don’t like the city.

I was supposed to have a dog and a pet pig. The mini pig was supposed to be a college graduation present. The dog would’ve come swiftly after.

I would be planning to have kids by the age of 27, two kids. One girl, one boy.

But now I’m 23, and everything about where I thought I’d be makes my head spin.

I don’t want any of those things and I’m completely happy.

To be engaged after college would have been thoroughly stressful for me, between figuring out how to cope with the real world and finding a job. The last thing I ever would have wanted was to plan a wedding and commit myself to someone before I knew what the hell I was doing.

And even after landing a job, to get married within the first few months of working would have been insane. I wouldn’t have been able to afford living in the suburbs – not that I ever even wanted to! I was going to live and work in places I didn’t even like to make someone else happy.

And now I live in the place I truly wanted to be and work at a job I love.

As much as I like dogs, I can barely take care of myself. And I’ve kind of figured out that mini pigs are so cute, but they come from breeders and there are so many homeless animals that would need my help first.

I also don’t even want kids! I found out almost two years ago that I don’t like spending more than a couple of hours with them at a time, and I wanted TWO in a span of FOUR YEARS.

You can’t plan your future.

You are always changing and circumstances are always changing – your plan for the next five years is merely a guideline. But it doesn’t always work out because who you are now and who you were then are two very different people, who have yet to experience certain things.

I’m not who I thought I’d be at 23 and I’m totally fine with it. TC mark

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