Seven Deadly Sins That Come From Being Celibate

By

There lies in most animals this hormonal renaissance in their genetic composition that hurls them into turmoil. At an early stage the species are designed to become more aware of the urgency to procreate. Evolutionary biologists would say that puberty marks a pivotal point in the life of a human where there is a seismic shift from survivorship to procreation. It is a basic human instinct.

Despite frequent attempts to throttle and subvert human sexuality by theological concerns mankind is a thriving sexual entity. For the most part at least. And why shouldn’t we be indulgent in one of the most basic, natural pleasures ever created? Despite objections from the puritanically chaste I would argue that the act of celibacy is more damaging to a person as any of the popularized Seven Deadly Sins. For those secular heathens the sins are listed as follows; for the godly merely a reminder.

Luxuria (lechery/lust)

Gula (gluttony)

Avaritia (avarice/greed)

Acedia (sloth/discouragement)

Ira (wrath)

Invidia (envy)

Superbia (pride)

In contrast to the aforementioned I counter the transgression of celibacy will yield in time its own seven wicked torts.

1. Infidelity

Protracted periods sans sexual contact are a sure measure to drive a person outside the confines of their current relationship to seek gratification elsewhere. Although it may seem shallow sexual contact is a good barometer of the health of a relationship. If you decide to lead chaste life, make sure you wed a eunuch with his tongue removed.

2. Frustration

Being devoid of intimate contact can be an extremely frustrating experience. The lack of physical contact and the emotional bonding that occurs with sexual relations can make even the most cheerful of people a tad testy.

3. Apathy

The majority of people crave the interest of a paramour. Protracted lack of exposure to the mating game leaves people less concerned about their attractiveness.

4. Depression

Scientific research has shown that sexual activity releases endorphins in the brain that are effective natural mood boosters. Whereas Prozac may diminish a person’s sexual desire, those who frequently indulge theirs will be less likely to require Prozac.

5. Indolence

Sex is perhaps the most vibrant spice of life. It incites so many behaviors. Think of all of the interesting endeavors that were bought upon in your life during the pursuit of coitus? The celibate lack exposure to countless stimulating scenarios that could take place in their lives. Even but a terse encounter can expel a person from the mediocrity of torpor.

6. Loathing

Honestly after some time it is human nature to become jealous of all the people you know who are having sex. In time you will come to despise those horny heathens and their indecent acts.

7. Shame

Celibate people often try to avoid subjects that may involve sex for fear of someone questioning when the last engaged in some activity. Would people think there is something wrong with you? Are you as to be considered so hideous a creature that you cannot find someone to copulate with?

Does not every action have its own set of consequences and repercussions? Newton’s third law describes the actions of one entity upon another. For every action there is yet an equal and opposite reaction. In the pursuit of adhering to some outdated rite we may in fact be exposing ourselves to a myriad of dire consequences. This a mere service announcement from somebody who gives a F*** for a happier society.