Thought Catalog
August 4, 2015

The Reality Of Loving Your Opposite

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What is the issue?

Have you ever been in love? The kind of love where you start doing the things you swear you would never do. What made you do it? Was it the way they stare at you like you’re the only person they see? It can be that you admire their creativity or the way they laugh at your corny jokes. You see that part of them and you get drawn to it like insects get drawn to light. There’s that certain spark in them that you crave so much that even though you are at risk of getting burned, you risk setting yourself on fire anyway. Because finally being burned to ashes is totally worth it.

But the irony of being in love with someone who is very different from you is the reality that what you love about them is also the reason why you can’t stand them. One minute you’re gushing about how much you love them and in a split second they do something that will make you cringe. It makes you question your sanity.

Whatever swept you off your feet can also be the same reason why you want to throw fist with them. The part of them that you thought was one-of-a-kind can also be the part of them that makes them an asshole.

All of us have the good and the bad wolf inside.

If you are highly imaginative, you can be lost in your fantasies about the other person. If you are a passionate lover, you can choke your other half with your possessiveness. If you like things in order, you can be insanely meticulous. If you just like to go with the flow, you may not be the most secure person.

In order for attraction to happen, opposites should exist.

It is very easy to love a person when they are loveable, but how about when there comes a time where they aren’t that loveable anymore? We embrace the positive side of every person but we cannot accept their negative side. But this isn’t how it works. When you love a person, you take all of them, the good shit and the bad shit. It’s like saying “I love you, but..” when all you should just say is “I love you”.

So how do we accept and love each other for who they are?

I don’t have a clue. But you should continue to love them just as they are and embrace that side of them that you dislike. Face it, there will always be those things that makes people undesirable, even in yourself. They are not perfect, so are you. Instead of hating your partner for who they’re not, love them for who they already are. Instead of constantly trying to change them so they will be perfect, constantly strive to be a better partner. Work on being the best version of yourself, every single day.

Oftentimes, the things we hate about the most in other people are the things that we hate in ourselves. You can never cast anyone’s shadows, even your own. It is part of who you are, just like it’s a part of who they are. Take your emotion as an example. Every day you are flooded with different kinds of emotions, both good and bad. If you do not control your emotions, your emotions will control you.

People don’t change overnight. It is a daily choice you have to make for as long as you live. Throw in trust, a bit of romance and a whole lot of patience with the person you love. It can be painful at times and you might have to sacrifice more than you think, but at the end of the day, you still choose to be with that person. Because even if they drive you crazy like a whiny bitch, it’s also the reason why you are crazy about them. TC mark

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