July 16, 2014

4 Reasons Why I Will Not Shave My Pubes For You

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What is the issue?
Vladimir Gjorgiev / (Shutterstock.com)
Vladimir Gjorgiev / (Shutterstock.com)

Pubes. We all have them. Like the hair on our heads, pubic hair suffers from the general ebb and flow of fashions as years go by—landing strip or stenciling? Full bush or baby-smooth nakedness? Vajazzling? They’ve all been a “thing” at one point or another.

I naïvely did not pay much attention to my burgeoning bush as I rolled through puberty. Even as I started having sex at age 17, I didn’t think much about my hairy vag. My partner had hair around his junk, then why shouldn’t I? For reasons of comfort and neatness I chose to trim the area somewhat, but not once did I consider going the full monty.

It was only when that three-year relationship ended that I began to think otherwise. Not only were all my friends regularly waxing their pubes (“It just FEELS better,” they insisted), but every article about dating and relationships that offered men’s perspectives was clearly pushing for that squeaky-clean image.

I could picture it in my mind—go out for drinks, meet a boy and get him home to bed, only to have him react to my hairy nether regions with disgust and abruptly take the next taxi home. If hairless vulvas were the expected “normal” situation, how would I manage to find someone who could see past my hairy genitals?

So when I finally found myself in a situation with a new boyfriend where we were pulling each other’s clothes off, I found it necessary to go out of my way to define exactly why I would not shave my pubes for him.

1. My vagina is still operational.

Despite my vulva not being baby-smooth like that of his favorite porn star, my vagina is still perfectly healthy and functional. I can still have passionate, amazing sex with pubic hair still intact. Amazing! Who would have thought?

2. It bloody hurts!

I don’t care if my friends say it’s “not that bad”; I’ve done enough waxing and shaving of the bikini line to know that the general area is sensitive as hell. Anything involving hot wax and many strands of hair being pulled out at once cannot be a remotely pleasant experience. And shaving? Well, I’ve had enough rashes and ingrown hairs on my legs to know that I’d like to avoid having the same on my lady parts, thank you. In short, if I can choose to avoid going through unnecessary pain, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

3. The expectations for men are not the same.

Now, I fully understand that many men do remove some, or all, of their pubic hair, and I have been with some men who do. But there is not nearly the same level of expectation surrounding naked penises as there is around naked vaginas. If you don’t rid yourself of your pubic hair, why should it be expected that I do?

4. I am more than my pubic hair.

He should want me for my brains and my values and should consider me attractive, pubes or not. If he doesn’t want me because I choose to keep my pubes, then I don’t want him.

Thankfully, he did not reject me and my hairy vag. He respected my views, and it has thankfully become the biggest non-issue in our sexual relationship.

Despite this, I am still confronted by the reality that the state of my pubic hair, though normal in the sense that this is what grows on almost everyone’s bodies, is apparently abnormal in people of my age and gender. A study by Indiana University in 2013 revealed that of the 18-24 age group, one third of participants totally or partially removed their pubic hair in a period of one month. We can only speculate as to why this might be—is it the advent of readily available and common porn? Or is it simply a fashion that will pass as other fashions do?

Whatever it is, I will continue to stand by my decision, and I urge those who are considering veering from the norm (by staying “normal”?) to consider this article and stay true to their pubes! TC mark

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