The music was strange and hypnotic, and as I listened, I looked around at Conrad, Anne, Preston, Lucille, Dan, Jane, Sandy Walker and his ever-present dog, Michael, Ellen and Elaine, and I thought: These people are all so talented and beautiful, I could be in love with all of them.
Walking around the Village afterwards – God, this time of year everyone looks so beautiful there – I spoke with Josh about his future. Nothing makes him happy. Women love him, yet after a few weeks he feels nothing but boredom and contempt for them.
While Marc was cutting cocaine, Curt showed me pictures of Hawaii and the sappy “deep” books he’d given Rikki to read; they were by Hugh Prather and the guy who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
Avis is depressed that she can’t “plan a future” with Simon, who admitted he feels “smothered” and he wants her to pull back. Avis feels an old pattern in re-emerging: “Nobody will give me a commitment.” I didn’t know what she meant. “Marriage?” I asked. “I don’t know what marriage is,” she replied.
Taking off my clothes, I sat down as Charles and his assistant fiddled with a big klieg light softened by a white umbrella. And then I posed, moving my body this way and that way as Charles directed. After the first ten minutes, I lost most of my self-consciousness about being naked.
In downtown Miami, when we went past a long motorcade of honking Cubans waving flags in support of the 10,000 Havanans on the Peruvian embassy grounds, I shouted “¡Viva Cuba libre!” out the car window.
I decided to take a ride out to the beach at Fort Lauderdale. There was a long wait at a drawbridge, and four girls in a nearby car rolled down their windows. I thought they wanted to ask directions, but they were just waving and smiling. On Las Olas Boulevard a guy in the car next to mine began flirting with me.
I drove up A1A by the beach. All those honky-tonk motels attract me, as do the young boys and girls on spring break, tanned and youthful and full of energy.
Gary and I went to one of those places that buy old coins and gold and silver jewelry, but the line there was too long. With 20% inflation, people are panicking and selling off rings, coin collections, bracelets and even silverware. The 1980s seem to be a time of panic, war hysteria, and senseless violence.
Avis and I were talking about Simon and Josh’s not speaking to each other. I wondered aloud why people who care about each other should cause each other such pain. “It’s usually people who care about you who cause you pain,” Justin put in – and I felt he was talking about him and me, not Simon and Josh.