Thought Catalog
May 8, 2017

To All The 20-Somethings Who Haven’t Fallen In Love Yet

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Living in this modern day and age and being the only one amongst your group of friends who has not experienced “falling in love” can be pressurizing. Pressurizing because you constantly feel like the world is rushing you into wanting to experience all these rampant emotions when you aren’t even ready.

And also probably because you just not have been able to find that one person who you can just naturally connect with on numerous levels. It can be overwhelming to feel that distant in a crowd of people who are in the dating game or are seeing people and are constantly updating their love lives on social media and are gushing about the little arguments they have and whatnot. When you have nothing and nobody to relate to.

But you are not alone. Believe it or not, there are millions like you out there.

“Falling in love” can often get twisted into a lot of different things like getting intensely attached with someone or having periods of infatuation and crushes on that cute guy in the corridor or at work. But it isn’t.

Love-in whatever sense, takes time. It is something that build ups and strengthens itself. Like a new building being built on a strong foundation with strong materials which will survive in any atmosphere and weather that is to come. You build an emotional connection. You slowly let yourself become vulnerable and completely naked- in the literal and figurative sense. You share things and experiences and stories that you would normally hesitate to open up about. You let all your insecurities show and for the first time you let your guard down because this person does not make complete you, but this person helps you complete yourself.

And finding this kind of an energy in someone and building a life out of all the moments that you two spend together does not happen overnight.

It takes time, courage and patience. And you completely have your right to make this decision and choice for yourself. You should not feel obligated to experience the process and the feeling at a certain age. There is so much more that you can do in the meantime. You can reinvent yourself and find your muse in something that you are passionate about. You can earn some money and travel. Or you can just simply meet new people and do that one thing that has always been out of your comfort zone.

Fall in love with yourself instead of wasting your time and energy and something that is only capable of being fictitious. Wait for something that will be real. Have patience because what’s the worst that can happen? TC mark