An Open Note To Louis C.K.
Dear Louis C.K.,
You the effing best.
In your super funny discussion of race and white privilege with Jay Leno last Friday, you had the temerity to tell America something that black people have felt for years: “If you’re black, you get to complain more.” Of course, you’re not saying that white people don’t get to complain; they do. But they don’t have 250 years of slavery and its immediate consequences to deal with. So thanks for that.
Louis C.K. for president. Ferreal.
P.S. Thanks also for putting Americans to task that one time on Conan. That was great too.
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I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”
To begin, I got totally screwed over in the dental genes department. I was born with a pretty severe overbite and a mouth that was too small.