Ivy League Professor Charged With Incest
Things just keep getting worse for Columbia University. Fresh on the heels of a frat boy drug-ring bust (including the sale of some ingenious LSD-coated candy) and straight out of what sounds like an episode of Gossip Girl, the Ivy League school can add incest to the list of embarrassing stories. Yes, incest.
According to reports, political science professor David Epstein has been arrested for having, um, sexual relations with his 24-year-old daughter. Consensual sexual relations, that is. Though Epstein has yet to respond to the allegations, his lawyer has asked the Columbia community to “support him and give him the benefit of the doubt.” Hmmm. Epstein is now on administrative leave.
Really, though, what can be next for Columbia? Please don’t let President Bollinger be implicated in a sex party with some Saudi royals.
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How many resumes have we submitted, never to hear a reply? How many slices of dollar pizza have we barely been able to afford this week?
“WE WERE ON A BREAK!”
If she’s showing up in every one of your profile pictures, I’m going to assume she’s your girlfriend.
Remember, you were in love with this person. It’s irrational to expect to be able to cut him or her out of your life altogether.