You’ll get over them when you wake up in the morning and the thought of being with them no longer consumes you. When you wake up and focus on all the things you have to do and all the friends you have to call and all the other ways the world shows you that you’re loved and you’re blessed.

You’ll get over them when you open facebook and you’re no longer curious about them or their lives. When you’re not analyzing every status, every like, every post and every new friend.

You’ll get over them when people ask you if you’re dating anyone and you’ll say no because you finally realized that you’re worth more than what they could give you and you’ve finally outgrown the fantasy of you two being anything more. You’ll say no because you want something real and you want something that lasts. You’ll say no because you know for sure that they are wrong for you.

You’ll get over them when someone mentions their name and you don’t jump out of your seat, you don’t ask a million questions or try to find answers that could give you hope. You’ll find that their name reminds you of a version of yourself that you’re not very fond of. You’ll realize that their name makes you cringe because you were so desperate to win someone else’s affection that you forgot that it shouldn’t be a game, a competition or a race. You’ll realize that you were trying too hard to be with someone who didn’t deserve your love.

You’ll get over them when you meet someone who makes you smile because of the endearing things they do and the genuine things they say. When you meet someone whose presence is more comforting than disturbing. When you meet someone who gives you peace of mind because you’re not going crazy trying to understand why they can’t give you a chance, why they don’t see you the way you see them and why they keep letting you down as if you mean nothing to them.

You’ll get over them when you understand the importance of being valued, respected, listened to, cared for and loved. When you understand that love is more than just drunk texts and likes and flirty comments. When you understand that you can’t have a relationship without effort, consistency and communication.

You’ll get over them when you see them again and it’s going to feel like you’re meeting a stranger or someone you’re meeting for the first time. It doesn’t hurt anymore. It doesn’t get to you anymore. They’re now insignificant.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.