It’s Not Always Your Fault, It Takes Two To Tango

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It’s your fault that you fell for their smile, for their attention, for their comforting words that were exactly what you needed to hear.

It’s not your fault that you believed that they wanted to be more than just friends, it’s not your fault that they changed their mind.

It’s not your fault that you didn’t see it coming. It’s not your fault that they lied.

It’s not always you.

It’s not always how you act or how you love, sometimes it’s how they trick you, sometimes it’s how they only want the chase because they’re still immature, sometimes it’s them wanting to know that they can get someone amazing like you to conceal their insecurities and sometimes it’s really, really not your fault.

I get it, it’s hard not to look at yourself and wonder what went wrong, what happened, why you couldn’t make it work with anyone, why the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again because you’re the common factor in all these stories, you’re still the protagonist but that doesn’t mean that you’re always the bad guy and it doesn’t mean that you won’t find your happy ending.

Because it’s always the bad guy who wins in the beginning of the story and loses at the end.

Because when you believed, they were also trying to win you over, they were honest, they seemed genuine and at one point, they cared.

When you loved, it’s because they moved you, they made you feel something you don’t usually feel, they made you look forward to another day, they gave you butterflies and wonderful moments and no matter what you say, they wanted you to love them. They wanted your love and your attention.

When you forgave, it’s because they seemed sorry and the timing was different, it’s because you believe in second chances and starting over and it’s because you believe in people. You believe they can change and they can be better because people learn from their mistakes and they learn from their losses.

It’s not your fault that you went with the flow, that you were spontaneous, that you gave your heart to someone who kept asking for it.

It’s not your fault because you didn’t start any of it and you didn’t end it.

It takes two. It always takes two. And even if you question every little thing you’ve ever done and every little thing you’ve ever said, there was also another person who either took it the wrong way or misjudged you. There was another person unwilling to communicate or unwilling to understand. There was another person afraid of something you’ll never know. 

And it’s not your fault that they are the way they are. It’s not your fault that they’re confused and helpless.

It’s not always you because it takes two to tango and someone always takes the lead.  

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.