The problem with heartbreak is that it never really goes away, it doesn’t really get out of your system and you can’t erase it from your memory. Even if you forgive, you’ll never forget and even if you decide to start over, you will always remember how things ended or how they used to be before you were hurt.
You don’t feel it at first, you’re still enamored by the thrill of second chances and the universe bringing the person you loved back into your life, you’re still infatuated and trying to figure out how much has changed and excited about getting to know the person all over again.
It works for a while until that person does something that triggers the past heartbreak, something that they did before when you started to realize that this is the beginning of the end and it all comes back to you, it haunts you at night, it makes you more guarded and less trusting, your ego begins to brainwash you and your mind begins to warn you that this person will break you again and you will just be the fool who got heartbroken twice by the same person.
When these feelings get to you, you realize that your reawakened love will never be pure, it will be tainted with the blood of the old wounds and it will bring the scars back.
You will realize that you can’t really love this person with your whole heart anymore, you can’t really give them your whole heart because the last time you did, they broke it.
The problem with going back to the person who hurt you is that they’re very capable of doing it again because they know how.
The problem with pain is that it is multiplied when it comes from the same person who caused it.
We fall in love to ease our pain and find joy in the mundane moments, but sometimes when we give certain people another shot at love, we become cautious instead of letting ourselves go. We become stubborn instead of vulnerable, we test them more, we question them more and it just takes away the beauty of falling in love.
When you realize that things will never be the same again with someone because they broke your heart before, maybe you should forgive them without loving them again and give someone else a chance.
Maybe we make love harder because we’re always letting the wrong people back into our lives instead of inviting new ones in.
Maybe we just need to learn how to love again and we need someone to teach us how and sometimes this will never come from someone who taught us more about pain and heartbreak than love. Maybe we just need to give first chances before we give second chances.