I used to think that waiting for someone you love to be ready is the ultimate form of flattery and the ideal declaration of love.
It’s how all epic love stories unfold and those who waited are finally rewarded for their patience when their lover comes back to them, then I had a very simple epiphany- the most epic love stories start when two people decide they like each other, they want to be with each other and they want to make the relationship work. Love is not always going to be easy and there will always be compromises, but having to wait for someone for months or years to finally decide to give you a chance should not be one of them.
Admit it, you don’t know what you are waiting for. Are you waiting for a declaration of love? Are you waiting for someone to change? Are you waiting for someone to recognize how loyal and patient you are? Are you waiting for a sign? Whatever it is you are waiting for should not keep you waiting if it’s truly worth it and you should always ask yourself if you are waiting for something that may never happen.
Waiting for someone means that you are okay with that person treating you like you are not important or that you don’t deserve their time.
Waiting for someone means that you don’t value yourself enough to realize that if someone cares enough, they will not keep you waiting or wondering. You are choosing to blind your own eyes from seeing the truth that will eventually blindside you.
Waiting for someone is not a sign of strength or loyalty, it’s a sign of denial and ignoring what you already know to be true. You will continue putting them on a pedestal they don’t even know they’re on, you will continue investing your all on nothing.
Waiting for someone means that you are pouring salt on your own cuts and acting like it doesn’t burn. It means that you have agreed to be the person they “settle” for after exploring all other options. It means that you are surrendering yourself to rejection over and over again and acting like it’s the natural process of waiting.
Waiting for someone means you are pushing away people who are willing to give what you are waiting for and they are willing to give it to you immediately. It means you are telling the whole world that you do not deserve the respect and love that you give others, that you are willing to compromise the most precious parts of yourself for someone who doesn’t even try to give a little bit more.
As much as you deserve to be rewarded for your patience and as much as you deserve someone who comes back and finally claims you, this is not always the case. You shouldn’t set aside yourself for anyone else, because when you lose a person for whatever reason you are going to realize that you are on your own, and that you waited months or years for someone who didn’t end up fulfilling the prophecy you created for them. Sometimes patience is a waste of time.
If you must wait; wait to be chosen every day, wait to be reminded that you are special, wait to be loved in the way that you constantly love, wait to be taken seriously and wait for someone who doesn’t keep you waiting, because you know that you deserve better than waiting around for someone to make up their mind.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.