Thought Catalog

Rachel Kramer Bussel

Rachel Kramer Bussel is the editor of over 50 anthologies, including The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories, Best ...

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Sometimes I’d tell myself that since I didn’t drink alone, or every night, or whatever other random barometer I chose, it wasn’t a problem, but it was. It didn’t matter how much I was drinking per se, but that I was drinking for the wrong reasons.

This morning, I stepped outside my apartment on Williamsburg’s busy Metropolitan Avenue to find my worst nightmare come true: my discarded bra, t-shirt, gym shorts, empty CD cases and other bits of garbage I’d carefully placed in a plastic bag were strewn across the grate in front of my building.

What those who aren’t highly sensitive don’t understand is that tears are not a weapon being wielded at them, but an emotional defense mechanism.

It’s pained me to realize how much I relied on sweets as a stand-in for words. He knows I love him—we tell each other this daily—but I still feel the need to somehow prove it with actions.

I’m not against technology or looking things up to help your love life, but there’s a difference between having someone else express what should ideally be deeply personal thoughts or an app doing so.

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