November 8, 2013

The 24 Fiercest, Most Empowering Olivia Pope Quotes

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You guysssssss, it’s Thursday! And you know what that means! The one hour of the week we’ve been looking forward to since last Thursday at 11pm is finally here! And yet, while Olivia Pope will grace us with her presence, she’ll ultimately recede into darkness, once again, leaving us waiting another week for her bold words and weak heart. So to help you get through the lonely days that’ll be following tonight’s new episode of Scandal, here’s a list of Olivia Pope’s best lines. You’re welcome.

1.

Fitz: How are you? Olivia Pope: Fine. Except, my married ex-boyfriend keeps calling me. Fitz: It’s just friendly; we’re being friends. Olivia Pope: We’re not friends. Fitz: We’re GOOD friends. Olivia Pope: HOW’S YOUR PREGNANT WIFE?

2.

Fitz: What do you want me to do Liv? Tell me to do and I’ll do it. Olivia Pope: Let me go. Fitz: Anything but that. Olivia Pope: Okay, I should go. Fitz: Liv? Mellie is going to see the Pastor’s wife tomorrow to pay her respects. I just thought you should know. Olivia Pope: Great. Thanks for the heads-up. You know what I need?? I need you to shut down the autopsy on Pastor Drake I need you to shut down the US attorney for me. Fitz: Liv I cant just— Olivia Pope: THAT IS WHAT I WANT! Fitz: Consider it handled.

3.

Olivia Pope: I took care of the autopsy; it’s handled. Abby: What? How is it handled? Olivia Pope: IT’S HANDLED.

4.

Olivia Pope: I know. What you want is 15 Christmases on December 25th, 15 birthdays, 15 years of sleeping next to him and waking up with him, you want anniversary dinners, and parent teacher conferences and school plays, you want fights over whose turn it is to wash the dishes and walk the dog. What you want, what you’ve always wanted, is to be part of his life. And now he’s gone and you want to be part of his legacy, but you aren’t and you never were and I can get you 6 million dollars to try to fix how much that hurts but THAT IS ALL THAT I CAN DO.

5.

Olivia Pope: I’m pretty sure the Supreme Court would consider this administration spying on its citizens criminal behavior.

6.

Olivia Pope: stop walking. STOP. WALKING…I am not yours. I don’t show up places because you want me. I am not yours. This is over.

7.

Kim: My producer, Jack Lynn. Olivia Pope: Hi jack. Sorry, no recording devices. Jack: We off the record here? Olivia Pope: For now, and I need you to agree on a 24-hour embargo with anything we discuss here today. Kim: wW don’t even know— Olivia Pope: My client’s life is at stake. If you can’t agree to an embargo—I like you Kim, I came to you first because I think you’re the best, but you’re not the only game in town.

8.

Olivia Pope: Artie take a breath. Keep your head still, maintain eye contact. Just answer what was asked of you; if you go off on a tangent it will look unreliable. Let’s try again.

9.

NSA Official: Which means, assuming Artie Hornbacker got his hands on Thorngate, our greatest weapon in the war on terror is out to the highest bidder as we speak. Olivia Pope: That’s your problem. NSA Official: Excuse me? Olivia Pope: Artie Hornbacker played us. For two days he wagged our dog—I’m not proud of that—but he played you for 16 years. Who knows what other secrets he stole along the way, and right out from under your nose—what a great story! The kind of story that leads to congressional hearings and mass firings and books and movies. Juicy stuff… NSA Official: What do you want? Olivia Pope: 12 hours to find a deliver Artie. Then we call it even.

10.

Olivia Pope: First thing we need to do is get national media involved. It’s not your daughter who’s missing, it’s EVERYONE’s daughter—that’s the way it should feel. It’s the difference between two people looking for Jenny and 300 million. We’ll also need a picture. And not just any picture. THE picture. The one you can’t forget because it’s the definition of innocence. And finally there’s the plea: get it right, and you’re a front-page story.

11.

Olivia Pope: Can I walk out of here or will I be stopped by Tom and How? Fitz: Liv… Olivia Pope: Really, other than me joining the mile high club with you in Air Force One, how is there any future here?

12.

Olivia Pope: Governor, I know this is a terrible time for you, and I understand how you feel about me. But if we’re going to work together, if I’m going to help you here, you follow my rules. It’s up to you—you know what’s at stake, you’ve seen what I can do. Governor: You’re the best. Don’t I know it.

13.

Olivia Pope: Do you want to survive this governor? Do you want your career to survive? Governor: of course I do. Olivia Pope: Then let me do my job.

14.

Olivia Pope: We need to tell the story our way. We’ve got a hero, we’ve got a victim, now we just need to finish the job, give the press their villain. Quinn: The contractor Olivia Pope: We’re digging up good old-fashioned dirt everyone. The more the better. Quinn, check out Bill Myers’s police records, we’re looking for any history of violence. Harrison, Abby: talk to the contractor’s crew, maybe they hated their boss. Let’s move quickly, people, we want to lock this down. Give the media a nice clean narrative, then let them do the work for us.

15.

Senator: What if I go to rehab, say I’m a sex addict? Olivia Pope: In 60 seconds you’re going to walk to that podium, read the statement in front of you, and resign the majority leadership position. Senator: But this could all blow over Olivia Pope: You’ve had sex—WAY more than the public knows about—with a 21-year-old intern. The daughter of one of your wife’s best friends. Senator: She was not that innocent, believe me, these young girls— Olivia Pope: 40 SECONDS. Look at me. This is over. You have no support within your party. Zero. You go out there read the statement I wrote for you, you get to remain a US Senator.

16.

Olivia Pope: I want the senior communications staff gathered and ready to meet me in 20 minutes. You. Jineane: Jineane Olivia Pope: Hi Jineane. Go to my apartment. Secret service has the address. Get me: one gray suit, one blue suit, one black suit, six blouses, 3 pairs of shoes, some underwear and my toothbrush, bring them to me here. Jineane: Ms. Olivia Pope. Does this mean—are you— Olivia Pope: Back. Yes, I’m back. For as long as you need me. Everything really is going to be okay.

17.

Fitz: Olivia. I miss you. Olivia Pope: You walked her to my cabin door. Fitz: I didn’t have a choice. Olivia Pope: I don’t know what you expect. I don’t want to be in this. This is—I am not this person. Fitz: Look. I know this is difficult Olivia Pope: Difficult?! Somehow I’ve become this person who—I have no words. Fitz: We were together. That’s all that matters. Olivia Pope: Really?! Because I’m feeling a little—I don’t know—Sally Hemmings, Thomas Jefferson about all of this.

18.

Olivia Pope: Did you need something? Fitz: The Sally Hemmings Thomas Jefferson comment was below the belt. Olivia Pope: Because it’s so untrue… Fitz: You’re playing the race card with the fact that I’m in love with you? Come on, don’t belittle us. It’s insulting and beneath you. And designed to drive me away, I’m not going away. Olivia Pope: I don’t have to drive you away. You’re married, you have children, you’re the leader of the free world. You are away, by definition you’re away. You’re unavailable. Fitz: So this is about Mellie? Olivia Pope: No, no. This is [laughs]. I smile at her and I take off my clothes for you. I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you, I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you, you OWN me, you control me, I belong to you.

19.

Olivia Pope: Good afternoon. I’d like to introduce you to Jineane Lock. Jineane graduated Summa Cum Laude from Berkeley. Jineane is a loyal friend and a sister and a daughter who has worked tirelessly for this administration. And most importantly, Jineane Lock absolutely positively did not have sex with the President of the United States. By leaking her name through anonymous sources, this White House is guilty of slander. And I am representing her pro bono because I have personally been affected by these brutal and underhanded character attacks myself. Yesterday, the President was having an affair with me. Today it’s Jineane. Tomorrow: who knows? It’s time this administration stops hiding behind anonymous sources.

20.

Olivia Pope: What’s ACME limited? Olivia’s Dad: Olivia… Olivia Pope: What do you do for a living? And don’t tell me it’s fossils, or exhibitions, or publishing papers DON’T LIE. WHAT. DO YOU DO. FOR A LIVING? Dad? Do you teach people how to kill? Do you throw them in a hole until they go insane? DO YOU WORK IN WONDERLAND?

21.

Olivia Pope: What? Olivia’s Dad: It’s just astonishing that we’re almost finished with dessert and you haven’t accused me of any crimes against humanity, I think we’re making progress. No? Olivia Pope: You know what I’ve learned? I’ve learned that accusing you of things means nothing. It leads to power games and moves and you making my friends kill people so instead of speaking my mind, instead of being the brave, outspoken girl my mother taught me to be, I’m chewing my food, fulfilling my contract. And when we’re done, I’ll go home and immediately try to forget this ever happened. Until next Sunday. When we do it all again.

22.

Olivia Pope: The White House Correspondents Dinner is Saturday. I haven’t missed a dinner—you know I vet his jokes? Used to. Every year; there’s an art to it. You can’t be too funny, you have to sort of walk this line between Presidential and—this year I got my invitation and I’m just— Jake: You’re waiting for the phone to ring because maybe he needs you to vet his jokes.

23.

Olivia Pope: I just dug the phone out of the trash. How are you? Are you freaking out about the White House Correspondents Dinner? Fitz: I am freaking out about the White House Correspondents Dinner. Olivia Pope: Who’s vetting your jokes? Fitz: Me Olivia Pope: You can’t vet your jokes you’re not funny. Fitz: I know that. Wait I’m funny. Olivia Pope: You’re funny, but you’re not funny. Fitz: And you are? Olivia Pope: I’m funnier than you.

24.

Olivia Pope: Dive in. Own it. Mock your image. You start off strong. Something like, “I see a lot of familiar faces here tonight including one or two who inexplicably haven’t been accused of sleeping with me. Laugh at yourself. It’ll make it impossible for them to laugh at you. TC mark

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