Charter School Barbie
By Rachel Gay
On sale now for the holidays, Charter School Barbie!
Our exclusive, limited edition Charter School Barbie puts a new, trendy reform on the original. Charter School Barbie comes with a Starbucks skinny latte glued to her left hand, leaving her right hand free for nonverbal cues and inputting dollar deductions for inappropriate behavior. Our 2013 version is complete with a not-unprofessionally-tight pencil skirt, chevron blouse (half tucked in…on purpose), and Manolo Blahnik chunky wedges. With her naturally-wavy-perfect-hair tied up in a messy-on-purpose bun, Charter School Barbie is ready to teach, and style, like a champion!
Charter School Barbie comes with two speaking volume settings, Level Zero and Strong Voice. Her head also swivels smoothly to the left and right so she can track at 100%. When you walk into the room, Charter School Barbie will look you in the eye and shake your hand (threshold is the only way). Every Wednesday, Charter School Barbie will sit down next to you for her weekly check-in — this data-driven-dame starts on time and ends on time!
On Black Friday, we will also be rolling out Reset Skipper, complete with newer, fresher functions. Reset Skipper responds quicker, is a first year teacher, and will not come home to you until 10:00 pm on week nights…she will find the third AND fourth way! Don’t forget Skipper’s Popcorn Out button—push it, and you will hear a new idea about when to issue detentions. Skipper comes complete with skinny, jewel-toned pants, white blouse, and sassy-but-sensible flats…if you’re nimble and responsive, you can’t possibly be wearing heels! Watch out though…if Reset Skipper starts to show up late to work and slurs her words when she’s reading her objective, then you know that Reset Skipper is spending too much time with happy teachers at happy hour. Give her a private individual correction, and she’ll get back on track.
To round out the team, we have included for a limited time…Culture Ken. Culture Ken is a fresh face on campus, and he can answer almost every question that comes from Charter School Barbie or Reset Skipper! Culture Ken also comes with two speaking volume settings…Voice Level Zero and Voice Level One. Culture Ken’s voice does not have the capacity to usurp Charter School Barbie or Reset Skipper’s speaking volumes. Although Culture Ken is only here for a brief time, he will gladly walk into your room uninvited to give you feedback that will not surprise you. Make sure you pre-order Culture Ken now! We only have enough for 1 Culture Ken per every 5 people, and he will not be here in 2014!
Charter School Barbie is ready to challenge your brain, but not your bank account! You can find her in the bad part of town, but her permanent address is actually on the “other side” of the tracks. If Charter School Barbie ever misses a consecutive Monday or Tuesday, then please reach out to check-in with the Mattel Support Team.