Let This Be Our Goodbye

One day, we were watching a play and singing our hearts out. The next day, you’re gone – ghosted as what the dating world would call it now.

I never had the chance to say goodbye. If I knew that the night you brought me home was the last time I’ll see you, I would have hugged you a little longer. I’ll probably cry too and you will wonder why and you will laugh at me because you know how much of a crybaby I am. Instead of saying good night, I would have said thank you. Thank you for dropping by. Thank you for making me happy.

I will never want to forget that – the way you pull out the chair or the way you open the car door for me. How after a long and tiring day at work, you will still have time to talk, to tell me about your day, and to ask me about mine. How I am the first recipient of news about unmet targets and good jobs. I will never forget the way you talk about your work like it’s the coolest thing in the world. I remember when we first met, and you told me that you create moments of happiness for a living. I have never met anyone who describes his or her job the way you do. Your passionate and energetic and being with you makes me want to be a better version of myself.

I will never forget how you make me laugh. I would always tease you that God was unfair when He created you, for you are smart, funny, and also good-looking. It’s as if you’re His favorite, for you are also optimistic and kind – to me and to everyone around you. And even if we both know I have a terrible taste in music, you listened to and sang all my favorite songs. I will never want to forget that too – the memory of you singing in the car and how I wished to have more of that.

I would have begged for more days, but what we had, whatever that was, was enough. And you gone do not make any of it less real. You just chose a different path and I will never take that against you. In my life, you will always be my favorite Chinito.

I really hope you achieve everything on your “focus areas” list. And when you’re done, I hope you find an amazing girl, someone who will make you feel the way I felt for you. Someone who will make you stay.

I never had the chance to say goodbye, so let this be it. Let this be the goodbye I never had the chance to say. Know that you will never be forgotten, but I owe it to myself to move forward, to see what’s out there, and to find happiness somewhere else.