1. You don’t make time for the important people in your life.
Your friends and family complain that they don’t see or hear from you much anymore. You frequently ditch them to spend time with your cat at home sitting on the couch and watching Netflix, but you don’t tell your friends and family that because they just… wouldn’t understand.
2. You get separation anxiety.
Occasionally you go out with friends, go for drinks, even leave town for a few days. You’re cool, relaxed, having a good time, but deep down you’re like WHAT’S HE DOING RIGHT NOW WHAT’S HE DOING IS HE OKAY I WISH HE COULD TEXT ME. You’ve probably also used the excuse, “I have to go home and feed my cat” at least once or twice in order to leave a social outing early.
3. You take better care of your cat than you do yourself.
You spend more of your measly income on the highest quality gourmet cat foods, treats, and toys than you do on the things that YOU need. If that means you have to eat ramen and saltines four nights in a row, so be it. Nothing but the best for your Mr. Whiskers!
4. You get jealous when your cat snuggles with someone else.
This one is a killer. Because all the cute things he does with you, like curl up on your lap or sleep in your arms, you think those are YOUR things. Then your friends come over to hang out and five minutes later you find him purring and rubbing up against someone else’s legs, and you’re all, “TRAITOR! CHEATER! LIAR! THAT’S OUR THING! HOW COULD YOU!”
5. You worry about your cat’s feelings.
Does he get upset when I leave him alone all day? Is he lonely? Does he really love me? What’s he thinking right now? Would he be jealous if I pet another cat? Is he judging me for dancing around the house in my underwear? Does he feel like less of a cat for not being able to catch that bird outside?
6. You make excuses for your cat’s behavior.
Your kitty may be the most well-behaved little angel at home, but when that dreaded vet appointment arrives it’s like an episode from Animal Planet’s My Cat From Hell. Since you want everyone to adore your pet as much as you do, you find yourself making all sorts of excuses for his rude and spastic behavior. “He’s not usually like this. He’s really well-behaved, I swear! He just needs to get to know you better. See! He’s purring! Oh, that’s a growl?”