I gave my very first blow job when I was 17 years old. He was my age and we hardly knew each other. I’m actually pretty sure we met through MySpace, but let’s not talk about that. We went to a Degrassi signing at the mall before going back to my house to watch The Life Aquatic. Yes, this is a true story. We started making out after the movie on my couch, and I realized we should probably go to my bedroom because I think my mom was going to be coming home or something. He started to feel me up and my shirt came off. I felt excited because I hadn’t gone very far with a guy before (but I had given one handjob and been fingered by a girl) and I had a feeling I was going to move forward at this point. I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity, but I was ready to explore a little.

My mom yells from the kitchen for me to come out. I throw my shirt back on, accidentally inside out, and I go tell her “It’s okay we are just talking and cuddling” when I see the concerned look on her face. She said she didn’t like that we were in my room with the door closed and I should know better. She quickly but calmly suggested we go for a nice walk through the neighborhood, so I told him we should go around the block. Somehow I knew we’d just find a spot to keep making out on our “walk”.

As it turned out, we made it around the corner and around the fence, right back onto my parent’s property and into the backyard. There was still one of those swing set fort things standing in the middle of the yard and it was far enough from any windows and doors and concealed enough to get a little frisky in. Things got a little more heated and I decided this was the first time I’d go down on a guy. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing but I had seen videos before. He was communicative and I just kept trying new things and reading his responses. He asked me to spit on it. I looked up at him with my almost-innocent blue eyes and did as he requested. He titty-fucked me a little bit and I’d never done that before, either. It felt awkward but I was turned on by the fact that my boobs were big enough and that he was into it. Pleasing him pleased me.

I worked his cock with my lips, hands, and tongue until he came in my mouth. I remember feeling kind of dirty and liking it. This whole sucking dick thing was new to me but I enjoyed it. A check mark appeared in an imaginary box next to BLOWJOBS in my head. To clarify detail and see if he remembered anything more than I did, I gave this old friend a call today. He remembers it vividly, saying “You don’t exactly forget getting a blow job from a girl… that now does porn. You just don’t.” We laughed and he said, “I remember being blown away. Pun intended, I guess.” I’m amused by the fact this eight year old blow job will probably not be forgotten any time soon by either of us.

A month later, I ended up blowing almost an entire band in their van, while it was moving. By that point, I realized I liked it more than just a little bit. It wasn’t about being a sex object or being turned on by the idea of feeling a little degraded, it was about how much I wanted to get someone off. Looking back, I’m not the least bit shocked I ended up wanting to do porn.