Sure, love is love and your normal may not be my normal but on Valentine’s Day, it seems like all rational thought goes out the window.
Normalizing masturbation for women also eliminates the time we waste in bad situations; rather than having a friends with benefits set up with a horrible ex, you can “maintain yourself” with no emotional or personal liabilities and risks.
Call me a man hating asshole if you want, I don’t care because I know I’m not one. What I do know is I’m a feminist who believes in equality and I would never send unrequested pictures of my genitals around.
What’s the point of contouring if it’s just going to drip down my face? On those days where the humidity is booming and the sun is shining, I look like a parody YouTube makeup tutorial.
Even the most zen people have the most irrational, impulsive thoughts during first dates.
We’re all seeking an immediate rush of fraudulent elation and when we fail to produce those feelings naturally, we resort to shit like MDMA to kickstart it all.
Fake an allergic reaction.
It won’t keep asking you “is this okay?”
I’ll have to live with that weak part of me, remembering that I also get to live with the really strong part of me that picked myself up and figured things out.
Never EVER tell your coworkers you’ve got free time.