5 Terrible Traits Of The Guy That Every Girl Falls For, But Shouldn’t

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Think about him, walking inside the room, his presence taking all the space he needs, along with your every breath. He strides with an unspoken confidence, his smile possessing the same power. He scans the room to look for a seat, but, my god, he can sit anywhere he likes and you secretly wish it was beside you. You hold your world still as he continues walking again, partly because just basking in his existence takes a lot from you and partly because you feel like he heard your thoughts out loud.

And now, think about all the other girls in the same room, feeling the same way, thinking the same thoughts and holding their breath at the same time. Think about how you think you’re no better than any of them. Think about, how like any of them, you probably have no chance at all. Think about all the hearts they throw at him and how easily he can crush theirs as he crushes yours. Remember how that feels. 

He probably could not help it, but being a heartthrob makes him the guy, the guy formulated by the universe to be liked by majority of the female population, including you, but is also the same guy who would put you through heaven and hell before you get a shot at being liked by him. Here are a few reasons why:

1. He brings out your insecurities.

He isn’t well liked for nothing. Surely, this guy must be worth billions. It might be the way he looks, the way he speaks, the way he plays the guitar (if you dig that type) or the way he’s always so nice to people. Take your pick. Whoever he is, he must have that stereotypical quality that appeals to most girls. 

And since he’s at that kind of status, you will always have that urge to ask yourself if you are good enough. You will find yourself, looking at the mirror and questioning the very features that make you, you. You will start to criticize the way you speak, the way you think, and the way you walk. You will double-think your principles. Bottomline, because he’s the guy, you will try to mold yourself into the girl and when it does not work out for you, you will slowly hate yourself.

2. Because of him, over-thinking will be the death of you.

Liking someone can make you over-think, but since the guy you like is the guy who calls the shots, then you would probably over-think twice as much. Normally, when it comes to liking guys, all you have to worry about is yourself and the guy. 

How do I look? Did he see me? 

Why is he looking pale today? Is he sick?

Why did I say that? Idiot! Take it back.

What did he mean by “not now”? Is that a promise for the future?

Why am I so clumsy? Ugh.

But with him, you would have additional questions about the other girls who like him.

Why did he talk to her? Are they a thing now?

What were you thinking? He wouldn’t actually pick you over Cindy.

Of course, you have no change against Rita. 

Why is he sitting so close to her? Is she flirting?

Why am I acting so jealous? Ugh.

The more girls that like him or are linked to him, the more hair you would lose thinking about them.

3. There would always be the matter of ‘other girls.’

As I emphasized in my previous point, a crowd of third party would always bug your thoughts. But you have to remember that they are not just that. They are also girls, like you, pinning for a guy sent via shooting star to grace the face of the Earth. It’s not their faults, as it is not yours, that they like a generic brand of guy. And because you have to realize that too, you would see that they are humans, not competitors. They have feelings too and you have to be sensitive enough to work around that. This is assuming that you are a good person.

This gets trickier when you actually know the ‘other girl’ and even hold her dear as a friend. You could always just “share” him as a crush, if both of you are mature enough. But most of the time, friends try to set boundaries on their crushes, just to be sure. Either way, this situation sort of limits the extent to which you could like him. Of course, you can’t keep on pinning for him and you can’t wish that you would end up with him either.

Because he’s the type of guy that’s easily liked, things like that could easily happen and it would drive you insane. He complicates things. (And sometimes, due to frustration, you would just want to march straight to his face, asking why does he have to exist and make both of you fall for him. It’s not fair.)

4. The chances of him liking you back are slimmer.

Why would he pick you? If even your average Joe wouldn’t pick you, what in his right mind would make him even look at you?

He has other girls waiting for him. He could literally pick anyone, everyone. Compared to them, you are just one speck floating among the millions of specks in the air he breathes.

And even if he sees you, thinks you’re cool, you might just garner a rank 50 out of the 55.

5. He will heighten your fear of abandonment.

Okay. What if he notices you? What if in the sea of girls begging for him to look their way, he turns to you and starts to hint that, hey, he might actually like you?

Of course, joy will come surging in your veins but even that would only last a short while. Once it sinks in, you will begin to panic. Will I be enough for him?

Just as easily as he unconsciously squeezed himself in your life, he can pull himself out. He’s amazing and so many other girls can make him think that he belongs with them. That will scare you, knowing that even if life gives you a shot, he can leave like you didn’t even exist. Why? Because he can leave you. He is capable of choosing someone else.

You see, when you like a guy engineered to stand out from the crowd, you are liking a guy engineered to break your heart. The best way to stay safe is to stay away from him, to find a guy only you could like. That way, you wouldn’t have to go through all the trouble.

Except…

Of course, there’s always the “except” part.

If this guy makes you happy, one way or another, then feel free to continue liking him. He doesn’t have to like you back to make you happy, and you know it, because every time he walks through a door, passes by or waves at you, you feel like he completed your crappy day. His existence is enough.

And even if he makes you crazy, makes you want to stay in bed to over-analyze his every word, you feel alright afterwards because the rush that he gives you is intoxicating enough that you’d want to wake up extra early to catch him at the library. 

And even if it takes every nerve in your body to shut down just so you wouldn’t turn green at the sight of him being way too close to another girl, you still choose to keep the faith and stop jumping to conclusions because he is the kind of guy that you believe would be worth all your feelings anyway.

If he drives you absolutely insane, both the good and bad kind, and you are the type of girl who can handle that for the sake of something that might not even be a thing, then go on. Love was never for the faint-hearted anyway.