5 Things I Wish I Could Say To Mr. Right Now

There’s that one guy who’s not really your One Great Love but as of date, he’s been bothering you, poking at you heart with his charms. He’s not it and maybe, a part of you knows that, but you just can’t stop yourself from falling for him. Congratulations, you’ve just met Mr. Right Now.

Mr. Right Now frustrates you. He can be the cherry on top or the dead fly at the bottom. Sometimes he gets you, makes you feel important and then, sometimes, he makes you wish you lived in an alternate universe where he doesn’t pay attention to other girls. He has that effect because Mr. Right Now can make you feel almost perfect at certain times but at one point, he’ll get it wrong.

If I could gather enough courage, these are the things I’d tell my Mr. Right Now:

Dear Mr. Right Now,

1. “…”

Nothing. Silence, because probably, I’d be speechless you at first. You’d be standing before me, awesome as you are, and suddenly, the declamation piece I’ve planned in my head would evaporate. (Plus, you’d probably be wearing that alluring — I mean, distracting — cologne of yours.)

But then again, if I wouldn’t be in the mood to be ‘attracted to you,’ I’d probably keep my mouth shut because I literally don’t know what to say. Or if I’m feeling a bit more bitter towards you, I won’t say anything, initially, because I’d find speaking useless, just like how useless continuing to like you is. I’d speak a little later but by then, I’d probably have no control over my mouth.

2. “Goodbye.”

Once I come to my senses, I’d probably make a run for it. I’d finally realize that, hey, I’m actually talking to the guy I currently like and I’m not dreaming. We’re CONVERSING… and I couldn’t even deal.

Or maybe I’d say goodbye immediately because I actually mean it. Goodbye, as in, “I like you a lot but I need to move on from crushing on you.” Maybe, if I do say this one day, it’s to say that I need to stop fantasizing about you and us and the magic moment that you’d finally realize that you like me too. Maybe goodbye means goodbye.

3. “I like you.”

Someday, I’d say this because you deserve to hear it. I’d say this because, after the silence and the drama of a farewell, all that led me to you is my appreciation of your existence. I like you because you are a person that can be liked and that out of everyone I know, you have a special quality about you that I can’t exactly pin down… but I know it’s there and it makes you unique.

And I think, even if I eventually hate you, I’d tell you this because I still consider you as my Mr. Right Now. No matter how much I want to undo the moment we met, I can’t get rid of you because despite all my pretenses, I still have feelings for you.

4. “Someday, I’ll get over you.”

I have to face the facts. You’re not going to be the guy I’d walk down the aisle for. Whether I face it with contempt for you, with gratitude or with regret or nostalgia for the two years I spent admiring you, I’ll get to a point when your name has no effect on me anymore. I’d realize that you are more of a memory and I won’t be saying that just so I could claim to have moved on.

Right now, I find you in everything. Even the things you do cause me to over-think. But one day, I’ll have my heart clean for the guy who truly deserves it.

5. “Thank you.”

Gosh. Thank you because even if it was just for a while, I learned a lot. You were meant for someone else but you stuck around in my life for a while and that meant a lot to me. There were days you drove me crazy, in a good and bad way, and nights you plagued my thoughts with what ifs. There were also instances that I really wanted to fight for you and I crashed when I tried to. And still, despite all the scars and abruptly cut moments, thank you. It has been one heck of a ride.