Filling The Void In Your Life With The Kim Kardashian Hollywood Game

Coming home from college for the summer hit me hard. At college I had people to see, places to go from and things to do. Suddenly, my life felt noun-less. Where there was once so much fun and life, there was now work and real life. I felt like I was in jail in Monopoly and come August I was just going to have to pay the $200 (let’s be real I wish it was just $200) to get out and go back to playing.

Suddenly, a wild Kardashian appeared.

Everywhere I looked on social media there was talk of the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game. It was addicting. It was fabulous.

“It looks stupid,” I scoffed because I am clearly above such frivolous gameplay. “I think I’ll download it to make fun of it.”

I quickly became addicted. Like my pants as I slowly but surely gained the freshmen 30, there was soon little room for anything else.

I felt a sense of independence I had not felt since coming home for the summer. I could fly from Miami to NYC to Paris and I didn’t have to tell anyone. Supermodels don’t have curfews. Even if they did have curfews, supermodels have an undeniable sense of cool and aloofness that even their parents would respect. Also, supermodels probably actually try to leave their house occasionally too.

Simon reminded me of how I saw my parents at school. He looked out for you, always wanted you to get a job, and called you a little too much, but it was from a loving distance. At home my parents are Willow Pape. They need to bounce off.

I was able to meet boys for the first time since coming home to my small-town snowglobe, where I had already met and sufficiently embarrassed myself in front of every snowflake. I had the luxurious problem of deciding to “network” or “flirt” and usually using the virtual character’s looks to make my choice for me, though I would like to say that I am a firm believer that it is what is inside that counts for video game characters too. Occasionally I would meet a dapper young collection of pixels that would also have a networking-worthy job and in those cases I struggled. It was like trying to pick up a guy while simultaneously telling him to endorse me on LinkedIn.

But most of all, the game made me feel, for the first time since I finished the second season of Orange Is The New Black, like I was accomplishing something worthwhile with my summer. Even though I didn’t get an internship this summer, I got five stars in that photoshoot. Even though I am not making nearly enough money this summer to pay for college and all of my various activities, I just bought a mansion in Miami. Even though I still have no marketable skills, I am an A-list celebrity.

So if you are looking for a healthy way to fill a void in your life, I highly recommend the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game.