Something about being in the land where Geishas come from had led me to expect some class, some elegance and maybe even some ceramic pond with koi fish serenely swimming around and not judging.
If we’re being honest here, I’ll go ahead and come forward. I have fully enjoyed every second of a full-fledged pepperoni coma: the cramping, the nausea and the aftermath.
The loves of my life are Jason Schwartzman, Jason Segel and Jason Sudeikis. All three Jasons. All three talented individuals.
His sunglasses felt big on his face but he liked it, it was fun. He moved around on the grass and held his coffee close with two hands, joining them together like a monk. He thought that: “monk.”
For those who believe they are lonely, whose recent break ups or absent relationships give them something to be sad about, a visit to the cat food section at PetCo may make you feel chipper, for they are populated by special kinds of sad women (colloquially known as “cat ladies”) who stare deeply — purrhaps past, confronting a dark manless void — into the very items (feather on a stick; toy mice; scooper, calming spray) for which they disorientingly came.