I am 99.9% positive that I’ve never murdered a person. That .1% is a pretty big deal to me, though, because I am one of the many incredibly irritating assholes on this planet who subscribes to the “but nothing is really impossible” logic best suited for writing Disney movies and/or ending/losing pointless arguments at dinner parties.
It is a depressing realization to come to: The fact that, despite my best efforts, I am straight and will remain in this heterosexual quagmire, needing, lusting, wanting men for the rest of my life.
You slowly fall through to the depths of YouTube, until you come to and realize you’re watching “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” clips and have no idea how you got to this side of YouTube.
I’ll tell you who I feel bad for this week, and no, it’s not those police officers that were shot in Ferguson. It’s those SAE fraternity boys that were unfortunately recorded on a cell phone while singing a racist song about their racist fraternity.
Monotony is not usually part of your everyday life.