Seattle is the Emerald City, where It Rains All The Time, and where The Space Needle is, and where Kurt Cobain shot himself. Seattle is a place for Hipsters, and a place for lots of suicides (because of the rain). Every city’s got its stereotypes – here are a few for your reading pleasure.
Before I start this article, I’d just like to say something really quickly — no homo. Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, we can start the actual article.
The naked man was finally captured wading through a creek. Authorities do not know why he was wading there or why he was naked to begin with, but upon further investigation, it was found that the man has “mental issues” and is receiving care, though he was still charged with open lewdness.
Maybe you’ve heard, Osama bin Laden was killed yesterday. The People of Twitter told me so. Or at least, told me I should step away from my computer and sit back down in front of my television to watch a press conference. But the press conference didn’t air when they said it would, so I started losing interest and flipping channels, distracted long enough to miss half the President’s address. Though I knew the gist: Jihadist #1 was dead.